Friday, March 28, 2014

"FIX MY CARPET" So-called 'art' by Nine Fingered Fuxter Schittly

Fuxter Schittly had new carpet installed in mid November.

There is a small area that is worn but not in a place that gets travelled.

Fuxter Schittly wants it fixed or compensated.

Instead of coming to the house as they initially said they would, the manufacturer wants photos emailed...

These are those photos.


Thursday, March 27, 2014

(Poem) The Day of Seven Billion Nightmares

The Day of Seven Billion Nightmares

He said:
"Flowers come here to die."
I laughed.

All the best tragedies 
arrive in threes.
... with dreams of shattered trees.
Fuck your holidays. 
Articles of the sky's rebellion 
           bit by bite.
     Attack in spite
An eagle or a kite
Of today's forecast...
"That's not rain

The confession of deep-sins
                                      in the past
     precede newer, fresh sins.
These sins compound one 
                     upon each other.
In every pocket in your pants.
                     Remember when everyone 
woke-up and had a nightmare to tell?
Seven billion nightmares 
Seven billion stories.
Not one of them good.
None of them interesting.
No more dreaming in color.
No more choice.
No more difference.
It's no longer your priveledge.
It's your bourden.

An old man at any age
is a man that realizes 
that one day he will die. 
He accepts the terms and conditions ...
and varied requirements 
                                     of the grim reaper 
and his burdens.
"It is what it is"
... Please hit me with
     a ball-peen hammer
     and surrender my body
                             to the crows!
Commence taking inventory 
of available weapons 
and their accessability...
No knives. No bullets no guns.
...well now...!

A young man thinks he is immortal.
They walk tall and strong.
They smile wide and hunt pussy
They drink cheep beer
In well-lit back alleyways...
Alleyways (without menace)
in their fucking flip-flops.
They don't love that alleyway
          like they should...
Young men are fools.
Ive been there.
Done that.
(Except for the flip-flops)
I was a fool once too.

Driving 175 miles an hour 
     Bumping fist
To those I wish 
to keep at arms length.
Your pathetic prophet,
Is someone else's god.
This is my nightmare.
I implore you, stay away.

Your strength...
is a microwave oven 
                     set on high.
You are soooo done.

The Day of Seven Billion Nightmares
by Shawn Abnoxious March.2014
(special Thanks to T-Wray)

Friday, March 21, 2014

SLEEVES: Cincinnati Insta-band Phenomenon!

"Sex Is Stupid"

Sleeves beginnings start with John Hoffman. It's all his fault. John was a recording engineer for Mardou's debut EP and that involvement became the the catalyst for a friendship between him and Dylan McCartney.  

At that time, according to Dylan, John had been playing pop-punk (a genre I recently came to accept as influential) and Dylan who was playing his trademark noisier post-punk "shit" (his words--not mine)-- you know...  All that good 'dash' cross-genre shit (my words not his).

Things started shaping up as they usually do and that led to the inclusion of Alex Collins. Dylan described him as "the sickest bass player/pizza maker" (priorities are priorities) and henceforth, you had a bonafide insta-band**. One integral part of the whole band experience remained-- A name. Every band needs a name and identity right? What would this band to be called?

John explains the bands name more in-depthly. "Sleeves, at first, was supposed to be a different band called Swim Team" which John insist is still a band along with Lillian Currens and BJ (White Walls/Crushed Velvet/Gazer.) Sleeves' origin as an official identity comes from Sam Francis, a compatriot of Johns, who suggested it as a good name for a band. 

John states: "I was like fuck yeah that's tight and asked him if I could use it" Sam agreed and so there you had it... Sleeves!

Nailing down a sound that beard-nods generously to the noisier side of what was once called 'college-rock' and whose last known alias was 'alternative-music' before it's mysterious dissappeaence sometime around 1999... Sleeves found its sound. You see, in Cincinnati I've noticed a trend that there's a whole new generation of musicians and bands whose parents music selections played a huge role in development. Genres began to be infused together... Alternative/grunge punk indie rock garage-punk rock and more. Five year old kids whose parents came from The Year Punk Broke era and Green Days' Incorporated commercial development phase have left their mark in ernest. Providing ample genres and sub-genres that allowed a choice. Soon-to-be-rockers began taking a little of one thing, a little of another thing and getting a good or bad result. Usually, it's a good result. Sometimes it's a great result as with Sleeves' Sex Is Stupid.

Infusing (I like that word) multiple styles, Sex Is Stupid deliver a combination of alternative rock heavily steeped in Nirvana fuzz and break-neck 4/4 Ramones style spread-legged punk. Graciously splattered upon with Strokes drive-thru speaker vocal effects and endless-- yet familiar (and welcomed) topics. Topics that you, the desperate Thwart reader (and myself), appear to be in an endless supply thereof...  Isolation, embarrassment, social awkwardness... All the good stuff that makes good bands great bands.

Deeply reflecting o their songs, Sex Is Stupid represents a retalitory strike to enemies big and small... Providing acknowledgements to Veterans of the worst war: the war we all fight in society. Musicians use songs to get even as they should. You know what they say don't you? No matter how things change, they always seem to stay the same... Don't they? No need for an answer, of course they do.

Sleeves are: John Hoffman (johnny lipstick) guitar/vox
Alex Collins (chef freddy) bass, Dylan McCartney (dr.dick)drums/vox


RIYL: Homemade Drugs, Yaws, Lo-Fi City, Dinosaurs and Thunder, Sebadoh, Pavement, Ramones

MFJD: Montreal (lyrics below)

(Above: Cover art from a 22 song cdr/cassette released at shows before our real demo was out.

by Sleeves 
Lyrics: John Hoffman and Lillian Curan

I remember our boardwalk view
Waiting on me, I was boring you
You ran the town in your high heeled shoes
I'm always tripping in front of you

Who thought things would change?
They all stay the same
Oh no no no
Who thought things would change?
They all stay the same
Oh no no no

You apologized, I know what for now
It was nothing you did, it was how you felt
I kissed you on the end of the closed off street
And that was when you fell into me

Who thought things would change?
They all stay the same
Oh no no no
Who thought things would change?
They all stay the same
Oh no no no

You don't notice me
You don't notice me
You don't notice me
Unless I'm right in front of you

You don't notice me
You don't notice me
You don't notice me
Unless I'm right in front of you

You don't notice me
You don't notice me
You don't notice me
Unless I'm right in front of you

Notice me
You don't notice me at all

I remember our boardwalk view
And how I never fell into you
You ran those towns in your high heeled shoes
I'm always tripping in front of you

* pay what you want download

** insta-bands are those bands that seemingly pop-up overnight without warning... A sort of shock and awe version of a band. It remains unclear concerning the life expectancy of insta-bands due to the newness of the sub-sub genre nor, should it represent a relaxed non-serious mediocre (or worse) effort.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Violently Savage Surge of Betty Machete!

Betty Machete & The Angry Cougars

"Rats" b/w "Mexico"
( 7")(yellow vinyl)

Just a while back in Muskingum County Ohio an owner of various exotic 'pets' that included large felines, had opened up their cages to let them roam free just before he killed himself. This story and the hunt for the animals, was fairly well-known and reported-on by all the major news networks. Well, it appears they didn't get all of them... Betty Machete & The Angry Cougars (BMAC) got away!

Hailing from Columbus Ohio-- just two counties over-- there's a reason why it was easier to shoot the exotic animals than to re-cage them for human entertainment; they are dangerous. Dangerous animals are called dangerous for a reason. This single marks the second release from BMAC and is still in the same vein as their first single... Familiar and rocking! This record will solidify your belief or make you a believer.

In just one complete listen BMAC will have you in their claws. They waste no time in getting to the point... All those familiar scenes that can only come from a 1st Midwest city with a dirty, muddy river dissecting the metropolis, serve as inspiration once more. There's this side of the river and there's that side of the river...  Everywhere you look is the enemy! Your surrounded! Your backed into a corner-- on your death ground-- and ya gotta fight! BMAC fights out of that corner time and time again bringing two raw, ripping punk-rock standards "Rats" and "Mexico" both akin to the likes of The Plasmatics, mixed with ample amounts of the Germs.

There's a self-destructive underlay to every BMAC song that gives you that dirty rock salt in the wound  feeling that I get from the Candy Snatchers. There's no time to waste. Every BMAC song is played like it's their last. One eye-blink away from the pits of hell itself... True suicide dead-end punk for your violent demise. You are collateral damage. That ingenious 'Growl Towel' they offer in their merch can clean up the  blood, sweat and the tears too. Those tears? They're your tears!

Verily few bands capture the 'Don't Pet the Wolf-Man' philosophy as well,or near-as-well as BMAC. It's not something I see much, but look for often. I appreciate this bands intensity, I appreciate their danger. I appreciate that edge-of-a-cliff feeling listening to their songs. Basically, this release is another winner. 

In AprILL look for COLUMBUS BLOOD. A compilation packed full of punk-bands hailing from the Columbus Ohio area including BMAC and the Thwart approved SICK THRILLS.


RIYL: Plasmatics, Candy Snatchers, Germs

Please Note: this record, as with 45rpm singles, sounds like a street-punk band when played at 33.3

Friday, March 14, 2014

Pop-Punk Articles of Surrender


Translation: "Hindsight can be a real motherfucker, motherfucker."

Excuse me... I'm just pulling one of my crooked Charcot Feet from out of my rotten mouth. The 1990's... Ah! In hindsight what a time! Grunge!! Your a bore Cold War!!! Surfs up! We got a Gulf War! Shit yeah! Osama Don't Surf! After all, one of those years in there was 'The Year Punk Broke' right? Shotguns for breakfast. Bruises. Baby-doll dresses... Well, one or more of those are the answer and one or more are just concepts-you decide which is which. Sometimes you just gotta get offa the Dude-Tube and wipe up your mess. Disassemble your madjack-nest before your mom comes home. She will be so hurt finding out you use her subscription to Better Homes & Garden and one of the good towels with the beautifully embroidered rose on it, for your big finish.

Nothing like time could turn an enemy into an ally. In the 90's I dabbled in the streetpunk phenominon i.e. the fragile blurring and amalgamation of the punk and Oi genres. It was the best of times, it was the worst of genres. Ultimately street-punk culminated in spiky haired drunk-punx (yes punk with an 'x') and the high-fiving boots, braces and laces skins in green bomber jackets with their badges perfectly in lines, allowing a cause/reason for both to comfortably binge drink and do things that their soon to be 'grow up' selves with semi-perfect lives would deny and attempt to act as if it never happened. I considered Pop-Punk or Poop-Punk (as it was known to me then) as the enemy! To me, pop-punk was the weakening and watering-down of REAL punk-rock; the creation of a commercial genre that I felt I had to do everything in my power to fight against.

We all have our own personal wars and struggles in our mind that time and contradiction eventually clear-up.

Pop-Punk was the enemy my enemy except of course when I would witness examples in my local scene.  SNOTBOY '77 (or just plain ol' SNOTBOY to you newer fans) or the 1-2 combination of SPODIE and PINCUSHION... Two Cincinnati pop-punk staples in the mid-late 90's that I really did like... Great shows. Good records/CDs released. These bands I would  find some sort of bullshittingly excuse to not only like, but find a clause in my fake fronted abhorring view of what pop-punk was to admire!

What was poop.. er, I mean POP-punk after all?

I'll tell ya: With honestly and hindsight on my side... NOW... It was fucking genius. Because the same excuses and reasons I used for my local examples were generously given to other bands as needed to justify my own ever-growing music collections inclusions... Countless times, again and again, I found reasons for bands like THE VINDICTIVES and SCREECHING WEASEL-- both of whom who graced my turn-tables and Cavalier tapedecks verily often-- and found grounds to excuse, justify  and dispense my relaxed definition of what pop-punk WAS and what it wasn't to accept them.

If it rocked and I liked it, no fucking way it was pop-punk... It was punk-rock! The glory! The filth! The fury! The Contradiction.

I guess it-- the secret pop-punker inside of me-- was sort of embarrassed when I got that QUEERS CD directly from Joe Queers' hands at one of their Cincinnati shows and realized that the same Queers that belted out "I Dont Wanna Work" and "Im Useless"-- two of the three KILLED BY DEATH #3 jams that rulled my ears and defined punk-rock-- was the same Queers that I was seeing and standing before me. I admitted to Joe himself how I thought, originally, that the Killed By Death Queers were a totally different band. I remember him laughing and me giving him money for A Day Late and A Dollar Short. I bet he got that alot or maybe not so much but I'm not sure if the tides were turned I would have done the same thing as Joe. That admission by me, or this confession or whatever you choose to call it; is the real thing that defines exactly how fucking stupid I was and perhaps still am.

At a party in Dayton once some crusty-punk had wrote about a Socials show that we sounded like a pop-punk band. In the same zine he tried to justify mandatory sterilization a of Chinese citizens too. I clearly remember his name (Frank) because his roommate spent a good forty-Five minutes listening to me rant about the zine while drinking vodka from a watermelon before telling me to shut-up. Franks roommate said he would go get Frank* who would come over and kick my ass and stab me if I said one more thing about him...

So after a long draw from the straw I declared "FUCK FRANK!" The loyal Frank roomate left to fetch Frank who never showed up. Frank said before he was a follower of the Norse God Thor, so maybe he was busy drinking ale and swinging a hammer or something.

So, to say the least, I was vocal about important things like punk-rock that seem silly and laughable now.

I said now.

The Queers were genius... In fact, They still are. Just the other day surfing the facebook, a local post extolling a Queers show the previous night in the Greater Cincinnati area went unheralded for its greatness. No one commented how good it was. Not because it wasn't great, because it proly was, but thats just how shit goes. The tide turns. Popularity wanes. Waves crash. Kids are into cassettes now. Again.


In time, hindsight will make all of us look like big dumb pieces of shit. Im certain of it... In all movements or whatever; how I see it with punk-rock, you is have your threats... Like The Clash said "No Elvis, Beatles or Rolling Stones in 1977" Perhaps, what each one of those standards represented to The Clash back-then, were in fact threats for that moment. Truthfully, you know they secretly loved each one of those at one time or other... Pop-punk wasn't the enemy in the 90's no matter how I tried to peg it then, as I see it now.


'Now' can be a real motherfucker, motherfucker.

No Spodie Screeching Weasel or Vindictives in 1997... I cant have those times back now but I cant help but to think... Will I one day look back to Maroon 5 or Frank Ocean or Lady Gaga and recognize them as greats because I think they are complete shit and represent everything thats wrong with the music industry?

Who knows. Time will tell. The power of hindsight is powerful stuff. Don't underestimate it.

In closing... My dearest Pop-Punk... You win. Im sorry.

Sometimes I can be a real motherfucker but you know that already don't you motherfucker?

       *fuck Frank still                                                                                              F13/9volt                 

This piece was originally written for inclusion in Marcus Paczulas proposed book about the 1990's pop-punk scene. One day, it still might make it in there but for now, it's here.-Shawn

Monday, March 10, 2014

Sacred Mushroom: Three Reviews of One Great Record.

A brief note about the two drafts:
I tried something I had never did with this release.... I wrote different versions of the same review/ initially this review was intended specifically for High Times. So I wrote one review, my THWART draft... A review without word count limits or otherwise. I then used that as a 'demo' for the High Times Review... I took bits and pieces and tightened it up a bit. So, if your wondering why there's two reviews, then you have your reason.-Shawn

Sacred Mushroom 
(Lp reissue)

Before the city-festival circuit was formed, before the term psyche in reference to psychedelic was cut in two and reformed into a new ‘psyche’ revival movement, Before The Goshorn Brothers Band, Before Pure Prairie League… On the cusp of the Haight Ashbury sound and scene culminated into a dirtier and darker 70’s scene, you had Sacred Mushroom hailing from the Ohio Valley region, specifically Cincinnati, Ohio where the rivers are muddy, or distorted—you choose. 30+ Years later after the French and Italian CD re-issues, After the internet hub-bub of this original record reaching triple number prices on Ebay—Shake it Record vows to re-direct their attention to re-issuing obscure greats from their own community and region to get this accessible gem in your ears! If you got your good ear turned into this direction. Think blues tweaked Psychedelic rockings i.e. Cream, Jefferson Airplane, Hendrix and Blue Cheer. Shuffling drums, pounding bass and split eared guitar overlays that sound like cats fucking in a dirty downtown alley. Music for the people, music by the people! Your record collection isn’t that exclusive anymore. Get up, fire up and drop-in. Music that hits just as hard as it originally did years ago. I’m not sure what you call that on your riverbanks full of industrial waste and dumped bodies, but that’s called timeless around these parts. 

“Your artificial life I must insist 
Reminds me of a virgin never kissed”

Get this record on blah-blah gram vinyl at Shake It! Records (

(High Times Draft -- Pre-Edit))

Sacred Mushroom “S/T” LP
Before the city festival circuit, before the ‘psyche’ scene separated itself from ‘adelic’. Before The Goshorn Brothers Band, Pure Prairie League, Raspberries… Sacred Mushroom laid down their take on the expansion of the Haight-Ashbury Influenced blues-fused psychedelic rock scene. Using those templates and successfully capturing the fire that Cream, Blue Cheer, Jefferson Airplane, Love and countless others had lit. Cincinnati’s muddy river had shown its trump card. This mastered-for-vinyl-only reissue brought to you by a region music-ographers Shake It Records, Is an for the/by the people obscure psychedelic rager put back In you, the enthusiast, hands. Listen hard. Listen long.

This s the review that ran in the April 2014 issue of High Times (Picture included)

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Andy Breighton Gets Super Stupid

Guest Post

Super Stupid
( 7" Ep  )

Sure their name is Super Stupid, but what a hard driving Detroit style rock and roll, beer drinking, 'n' pizza eating onslaught they are. You could make your typically comparisons to The Stooges and the MC5, which are easily applicable here, but Super Stupid rock in vein much more similar to slightly lesser known Michigan nugget sluggers like The UP, SRC and The Rationals. The opening track of this 4 song debut, “Hard Luvin'”, is a fun kick out jam that immediately reminded me of The UP's “Just Like An Aborigine” while one of the faster cuts, “Whiskey Cup” brought to mind newer old school Detroit finds Death. These guys can bring it live too, and they only reason that they're not most popular band in all of Cincinnati is that they just plain have too much fun!! Everyone else is just stained green with envy and juiced by jealousy. My copy is number 52 of a limited edition pressing of 100 with each sporting hand made cover in a limited edition of 1! Not sure where you can get this one unless your within speaking distance of the band themselves. Too bad these guys will never get a chance to split a pizza with the Sonic's Rendezvous Band.


Friday, March 7, 2014

Have Wings, Will Fly: My Night As A Buffalo Killer

"Van Wings"
Embedded Journalist Report
aka "Abstract Dictation Session D"
Re: Buffalo Killers

Sound chech. There are no more jack-stains on that banister from the church days. My first trip to this place (SGHRevival). Revival; part ones part two. We took the HIGHway here. No interstates... That's how they [Buffalo Killers] do it. Working of an old Rand-McNally 1962 map to get around in 2013.  Back-roads are the next big thing... At the climax of taking a breath, shoot it and finish inhaling... Hold your breath as long as you can before releasing. 

My feet may be dried, cracked and 'bleedy' but it don't mean a thing. We are behind enemy lines. Time to fight or die. Only one way out for 'Charlie': Death  or Victory. Wow 'revival...' Great things within an old church. Enemy fortified alleys in this area of Newport Kentucky are enticing. They are full of want... Primal ferocity... Full of violence. I find myself briefly remembering the time before the big pull of gentrification sunk it's fangs into Newport bringing a plague of shopping, dining and other various entertainment that isn't for just anyone... Death or Victory. Breathe deeply... Lethal (but manageable) doses of 'goodhussle fuckwads.' Abounds from the rolling eyes surrounding me of which I have no way in knowing if they are ghost or your everyday run of the mill a-typical assholes. If this sounds a bit contemptuous, it is. Dealing in pills and their side-effects of thrills for the ever elusive freak-out. 

"If that ain't enough to have a good time I don't know what is!"

"Damn straight son and this is a hassle free zone (HFZ) but if your gonna run-it... Then go ahead and run your run big dick-sucker the... YOU! RUN! RUN!!!"
"...By the way fuck-wad, goodhussle."

NOTE: Moments of Abstract Dictaion are splattered throughout. To freshen up on Abstract Dictation, find a link in the navigation bar of this blog. All Abstract Dictations were by myself, and The Buffalo Killers.


23 go that's very seismology else is going Versalles there
Daniel almost say something else
just trying to like him. Like he says okay togetherness
don't always know how to
We doesn't matter what
Peaches he's the beaches eat the peaches
say something bottle
Tomatoes and see how to do something
Just anything say anything loudly saying
Star Wars
are you smells like there again. Because I can't smoke a cigarette yet to start smoking right now I love that show me motherfucker

 Zach Gabbard

Meanwhile... Balcony behind stage; the 'band room' that acts more like a secret nest. Being an embedded journalist with the Buffalo Killers means you are not with a band as a performer... But  none-the-less, a temporary facet of the band. During this night I was in the band, as the band. I was a non-combatant fighting the war from the phantom dance floor (no one was dancing, they never do in or near Cincinnati; they haven't been told it's ok) 

"You don't have to ask for a beer." I must have been starring again. So we, the Buffalo Killers, Julian the Wolf-mn (on the cusp of fatherhood) and I drink all of it, being an embedded journalist means you experience the same share of danger and experience the same threats as the band but they have guitars, drums and fanny-packs while you [the embedded journalist] have mere words. Death or Victory (we choose victory as always.)

Meanwhile... I will only describe it-- the unforeseen danger as an embedded journalist, as busted. This shall not turn into Wounded Knee nor shall it come to Custors last stand at Little Bighorn... Don't tempt me with the use of your semi-deranged talk of surrender, This shit is hairy like Da-Nang #ceptdifferent.

"You and me, we keep walking around
And we see all the bullshit around us.
You try to keep your mind on what's going down.
Can't help but see the rhinoceros" 
Jefferson Airplanes "House at Pooneil Corners"


Listen you don't 
You have any influenc

Envious eyes surround me from out of nowhere. Blaring. Riding the wave of understandable paranoia is one thing, but the looks I was getting this night were especially designed to show a threatening nature.  Mean phantoms jealous of the living? Just one theory.... Strange but still manageable. Paranoia can be heightened sense of awareness and I know, deep down, the guy walking behind me cursing like an olde tyme sailor into port was targeting me while I shuffled up the steps... Getting some unknown but rooted grudge off his chest. If even cowardly behind my back... Good for him. I hope he feels better if he/you are reading this. 

Is a something this revenue told Maddie
are you going
Go away
A little more

 SGHRevival Stairway

Through each band playing the 'big room' or whatever the kids are calling it--that 80's cover/radio band playing on the smaller bar stage in the other room still played on and on. I despise them but I also admire them. The way they played was as like the Khemer Rouge live at the Killing Fields... #ceptdifferent.

AD-D:14 (Solo/SoLow) Buffalo Killers take the stage; Death or Victory
Doing band before chaises unsettling. It's almost like there any cage but really would engage their freedom. Easier just to say hi I'll just DVD information waiting for go. What's going to happen with abstract is not bad strength anymore abstracted will be a model speech. The abstract of transportation will be normal talking. 
You will understand a fucking thing anymore it was eventually.
Talk about this with. Try this it never works. It's the last day for the first time

Reduced to abstractly dictating between songs due to the iPads hard-working microphone. Times (all of them) are that tuff -- those 3 T's  are totally intended. Bounce. Early in the set the B.Killers find the bounce and groove settling nicely. If you ask what 'the bounce and groove' is, then you will NEVER get the short version, the long version or the bear minimum. You will get asked POLITELY to leave  the 'phantoms only' dance floor. Two photographers appear. The band beer and good smoke from way earlier has me riled-up. I refer the photographers with their zoom lenses to Department 1 as I do my thing when I think I'm in one of their pictures... I tried to do it with pictures myself (see B.Killers debut release). I found words to be my thing even though I can find you examples of differentiating opinion.

The night went into wind-down mode for many except the Buffalo Killers. I speculated that many of the M-Fers (Monday thru Friday-ers) were just downright wore out. After 12-17 hours after initial  wake-up and, at best, a small nap before going out and maybe hitting the famed McDonalds dollar menu (remember: it's a dollars worth of burger NOT a burger for a dollar)--Even the strongest of the strong would be tested... Considerably enough, calling it a day at the earliest of the late hours and feigning the hunt for sleep as long as possible, you never win. You succumb to the night.

Jobs... 'reall jobs' are sucking the life right out of the modern American worker. People work to live and unfortunately, somewhere along the line, live to work. Many stop to buy a Buffalo Killers LP or shirt. Sorry, no beer cozy... The audience, who didn't wanna make a trip back to their car with their purchased Buffalo Killers T-Shirt or poster earlier with the looming Winter Weather Advisory blanketing the Greater Cincinnati area that ended up staving off its impact (and would do so until about time as the first watch ended) had the entire tri-state area on edge. The infamous Blizzard of '77 has created a region fearful of the white stuff. Two weeks being snowed-in may leave impressions in  a generation or twos minds.

 Andy Gabbard

As so, the ride back to the rural outskirts of Cincinnati and it's ever tart boundaries proves that maybe the weather isnt that bad at all. after all, you can ride home with your head outside of the window... If you want. It's freedom rock man TURN IT UP! Those wings... More noticeable in bright sunlight, are indeed, caused by caustic stomach acid and occasionally, thick-mattered something or other sticking like a textured surface on the wings sides
... Puke-wings-- extending down the side of the van. Dulling the color ever so slightly, it's  not mud, it's actually dried puke! Staining the vans paint with stomach acids and it's chunks of various gas station cuisine and dollar menu's a rockers rights of passage. You should never trust anyone who has never been at the business end of drunk... It's a passage of life! Man! Karma can be a real motherfucker... Puke splashes on me positioned at a gas-pump in a Covington gas station with the Queen Shitty within sight and shining bright, mocking us. I ensure the seat belt was going to hold someone in... It did and really, for whatever reason, despite the spray, it really wasn't that incredibly bad (this time) getting puked on. I deserved it. It was my time and place. For whatever reason that will still be contemplated as the cures for cancer and the common cold are found, sometimes puke, like garbage, just fucking smells good.

One day to the next another city and another egress. The vans got wings... Let's fly... That's a secret of rock and toll. Nobody's perfect. Life's little knives thrust in you good.  Like 10-15 people you don't know glaring at you. That's OK because they will eventually have to re-enter their other-lives under flourescent lighting destined to lose and destined to be entrapped versus being prized and coated in full-glory... I will never look at a van the same way again as long as I live... Traversing neighborhoods and interstates alike, I'm looking at every van I see for wings... Looking for a sign,,, Like a '57 Chevy with flames...And when I find one, which is actually pretty common in the Greater Cincinnati area (once you know what your looking for) I wave... Stick my arm out the window (despite the temperature) and yell as loud as I can:

"Aim High. Stay High motherfucker(s)"

This practice should prove interesting in any near futures you can imagine.

Please note: there is no future in Cincinnatis dreaming.

Learn the significance of the Rhinocerus:
Learn more about Da Nang:
The Buffalo Killers will be releasing a new record soon. Buy it.

The new album.

Shortly after this piece, I was hospitalized for the bleedy foot wounds and have spent the time since being hospitalized, having surgeries, wound debridements and hyperbaric oxygen chamber treatments all under the fear of amputation. Life is a hard fucker. I can prove it.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Finding Comfort In The a Usage of Forever

Legendary Kent City Zero's Set to Release new LP!

Ohio rockers KILL THE HIPPIES (the best band ever) will release their newest LP, You Will Live With Us Forever, at The Stone Tavern in Kent, Ohio on April 19th. Forever is KTHs second fullie since 2000's Spasms In The New Age CD and marks the first vinyl LP release for the band ever! Limited to 300 vinyl copies, Forever is destined for greatness... It's  an Ohio punk must-have! Order to reserve your copies now or, at the verily least, buy the download from bandcamp. That's not a request, that's an order.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Hungry Ears Eat... Black Planet

Self-described as 'funk fuzz pop', initial listens to the newest Cincinnati thang, BLACK PLANET and their new bandcamp offering... Secifically the track "A Room of Her Own"- is a stones throw mix between Frontier Folk Nebraska and psyche (or 'adellic') shoe gaze-or maybe, just maybe (to a lesser degree) rock-drone akin to the unstoppable mind-expanders,  Black Angels. Spouting cryptically Princess Ramona Rules The Black Planet the magnificent "A Room of Her Own" takes a great, sudden Iceage-ish turn about halfway through the jam but that's a good thing... This is some really good stuff... A truly fresh listen. Black Planet have their name-your-own-price (NYOP) release ready for you and plan on touring this May... But the question and concern remain... Are you ready? I doubt your commitment dear Thwart reader. Prove yourself.

RIYL: Iceage, Jesus & Mary Chain, Mardou, Post-Punk.

Monday, March 3, 2014

NEUS-BYTES: NorthsideGarage.BuffaloKillers.GreatDismalSwamis.FleshPets.

Joe Rains reports that Cincinnatis own NORTHSIDE GARAGE will release a CD single "All The Kings Horses" b/w "Quite Literally" at The Southgate House Revival Friday, AprILL 25th with TIGER SEX and THE MUDLARKS. You get. Free copy of the single CD with a paid admission. The two songs were recorded at Monastery Studio by Ric Hordinski of Over The Rhine. Northside Garage are looking forward to releasing another EP this Summer and maybe even a fullie next year.

Joe also said that Northside Garage will publicly announce the download site a few days after the release party.

Release Party fb invite:

Are you ready for the Heavy Reverie? THE BUFFALO KILLERS fifth fullie will be released, officially, on May 15th at MOTR Pub with a West Coast Tour to follow in support of the release. Rumors of  a free fried bologna sandwich (on white bread) with each purchase of the LP at Shake It Records is FALSE and suspected of being started by  agents of the Kahnzir Mujahideen.

Switching gears and location... In fulfilling the 'beyond' portion of Thwarts 'Cincinnati & Beyond' coverage Jason Rowland of Nawfuck (Norfolk) Virginias GREAT DISMAL SWAMIS sez that they are continuously writing songs and recording them and most importantly, having fun. The Swamis have a full second album they are shopping around to labels and will possibly be split-up and broken down into separate future 7" releases. 

In April they will release a four song 7" EP getting released  on Fandango Records. Jason went on to say that they are in the process of recording six all-new tracks with a couple or few making it on a mid-Summer single.

If your in the Norfolk area on March 22nd look forThe Swamis playing with (In The Red Records') CHEAP TIME.

Reporting fom Dayton Ohio, FLESH PETS frontbroome, Brendon Broome, reports that they will be striking south, playing a show at THE MAINSTAY (Cincinnati) Friday, March 28th and have been writing new material as well as trying to record some newer material in-between drummer transitions. The Flesh Pets also have plans to appear on a comp with Brian Brenner of BEARER OF BAD NEWS.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

X-Ray Spex "Peel Sessions"

X-Ray Spex
"Peel Sessions and More"
( Lp )

Odd... No sooner did I explain to an un-committed ear about how I feel THE ADVERTS studio albums pale in comparison to their Peel Sessions double LP (mistakingly, I got two copies) I looked and discovered this album! Of course X-RAY SPEX did some Peel Session recordings! It only makes logical sense!!! Despite my daftness, this dayglo yellow slab-o-plastic brought at least three song titles to my attention that were either un-official non-LP version single releases or re-titled well-known SPEX songs designed to confuse the consumer, tricking them into re-buying the same stuff over and over, again and again. Proudly, I took that chance and according to my standards, it paid off.

Side A is chock full of well-knowns from Germ Free Adolescents that sound a bit warmer and were recorded in February  and November of 1978 after Germ Free debuted. On Side B is where it gets interesting... Starting off with two 'backing tracks' (instrumentals) that includes "Prefabricated Icons" and packed with more versions of Germ Free jams before culminating with two more unknowns at LPs end; a reggae soft-stab called "Silly Billy" and the mysterious "What A Way" that makes you wonder what other tricks did this band have up their sleeves? We will never know.


RIYL: Fem-Fronted 77 British punk-rock, Penetration.

Purchased Used at Shake It Records

Psyche/Adellic Ambassadors Hit SGHR

Guest Post
Black Owls, Golden Animals, Roky Erickson and Black Angels play SGHR

Article Written by: Nicolas Perkins            
Photos by: Kim Smith

Blazing a square, walking past the bands loading into the Southgate House Revival, I saw The Golden Animals.  They got me the press pass I was about to flash to club security and I thought about saying hello right then as I passed them but I figured I'd give them a chance to get settled first. The show was sold out and The Golden Animals were the opening act for Roky Erickson, of Thirteenth Floor Elevators fame, and The Black Angles, the famous psychedelic rockers from Austin, Texas.  

When I walked in the club, I went straight to the bar in the revival room and heard local band, The Black Owls sound-checking.  The revival room was free that night, you only had to pay to get in the sanctuary. I saw a friend hoping to score tickets after the show started.  He actually did by the way, which amazed me because a lot of people I saw early couldn't get tickets to the show.  He actually ran into one of the guys in Rokys band and I guess they had some left on their guest list because he let a couple more people in the show without tickets.  You have to appreciate a band member that loves the fans enough to let them in for free.

After The Black Owls finished their sound-check I saw The Golden Animals walk up to the bar.   As far as I knew when I walked past them loading in, they were a two piece, guitar and drums.  Now they are a three piece with a keyboardist playing mostly bass parts.  I said hello and told them who I was, that Shawn Abnoxious had sent me as a representative of THWART blog. I didn't know for sure it was them because I'd only seen a few pictures of them online, which they are an all around attractive band so it was easy to pick them out of a crowd. Their keyboardist, who I still thought was the drummer, was wearing a black furry coat and hat and when I said hello to her, I was pleasantly surprised by her European accent.  They told me that I could do an interview with them when they were finished with their sound-check, which is funny to me now because after the show I found out that they had already done their check and that they considered themselves to be the check for the Black Angels, so when they finished their actual set I would talk to them.

I watched the Black Owls for a bit because the sanctuary was closed, doors at 9 pm.  Their set was really good from what I heard, I was in and out a little bit to hook up with the photographer and get her into the show because I had a plus one for a photographer so, admittedly, I didn't see their whole set.  I got a whisky in while watching them, getting prepped for the show in the sanctuary.

The Golden Animals started shortly after the doors to the sanctuary opened.  Their lead vocalist/guitarist, Tommy Eisner, really impressed me with his finger-style guitar.  After the show, he told me that he developed his technique because they started as a two piece and he needed something to fill in between since they had no bass.  Now their keyboardist does some of that but he still plays the parts using the finger-style technique, and to great avail, I really dug his licks for sure.  Their backing vocalist/drummer, Linda Beecroft was a little heavy on the rolls but she played her part very well with haunting complimentary backing vocals.  I love background vocals that haunt the music with their well tempered subtlety.  Linda and Tommy are both visually stunning on stage.  She is very tall and has a bit of a Florence and the Machine presence on stage.  He is a bit more subdued, focusing on the picking, but he has a cool New York hipster vibe to his dress with a double breasted jacket and boots. Their keyboardist is new to the live band, Tommy said she had only been playing with them for about two months, but it all seemed to mesh well as a live experience.  She didn't have lead parts but she filled in the bass very well.  Tommy told me it felt very natural to fit her in the band and it showed through in the live experience.

After the show I had a drink with Tommy and I had to rip on him a little bit for drinking Irish whisky in bourbon country, but he took it with a laugh.  I think by the end of our interview, I had him convinced that Wild Turkey and Ale 8 could be a good drink, but then again maybe he was just humoring me.  He actually started to interview me a little bit about what he had heard about the Cincinnati music scene.  He was an easy guy to talk to and seemed genuinely interested so I told him about some of the great music around town and he made a comment about it that I thought was worth repeating, he said, “Great things can happen anywhere in America, and part of the equation is that no one is thinking about it.”  That seemed like a poignant quote because of the quality of the show that night. 

Roky Erickson and his band was up next, and despite the fact that Roky is getting a little long in the tooth, they were great.  The band he put together was great and they kept the crowd interested with some Thirteenth Floor Elevators songs.  It definitely wasn't the type of  new school 'psych' of The Black Angels, it was more like--and I'm biting Shawn Abnoxious' words here--the older school before the '-adelic' got dropped from the equation.  After the show I saw Roky getting into his Winnebago with his wife who seemed very thankful to all the fans as they passed by.  You could tell Roky was excited to be on the road and so was his band considering they were giving fans without tickets their guest list spots.  They had a good travel setup compared to the mini-vans you see most bands traveling in, though it was definitely a step down from the large tour van of The Black Angels. 

The Black Angels were the headlining act, and they lived up to their billing.  The crowd seemed to get up even more for them.  And by up, I mean up, it was almost like everyone was ready for the Stones or something; they were at the 'Rip this Joint' point. Christian Bland, their main guitarist, really impressed me.  He played many guitars throughout the night, but he had a Rickenbacker that stood out tonally to me.  I would love to see his new act, Christian Bland and The Revelators. Their vocalist Alex Mass, who also plays bass and organ, was very good with his drone-y vocals.  They ripped through a set that included a lot of new stuff from their album Indigo Meadow but also had a lot of nods to the older stuff that their fans wanted to hear.  As always their light show impressed, which is typical of the psych scene from Austin.  They had two guys running the projectors and the colors and images were great and certainly added to the intensity of the music.  I have to say it was a great evening of  music and I thank The Golden Animals and Shawn Abnoxious for getting me in under the press pass.

Thwart Thanks: Mark Allen, Nicolas Perkins, Kim Smith, Southgate House Revival, Golden Animals,