Friday, September 30, 2011

The Long Gones "Tear You Apart" 7"

The Long Gones "tear You Apart" 7"

     "Don’t look now, but it’s happening again"

     When I last left off concerning The Long Gones, it was in an article for CityBeat in October of 2009, nearly two years ago to the month. The CD version of their infamous LP, Prepare to Burn had been issued onto CD by Shake It Records with a slew of bonus tracks and things were looking good for more shows, recording plans and more releases… Shows were played, as promised… Those recording plans would include time spent with Peter Greenburg, a Cincinnati Punk Rock pioneer, from The Customs… Actually, that recording session and this 7” was the big secret eluded to in the City beat article…

     I really thought that more than just three songs were recorded and some unreleased gems were laying around for future re-issue consideration. I even took time to send an e-mail inquiring about that possibility to Bryan.

     “We only recorded the 3 songs with Peter [Greenburg]. Never even practiced with him. He was only in town for a few days. Stace [guitar] had been in Japan on his honeymoon. He got back, met us in the studio, and we were rolling an hour later” stated by Bryan in his e-mail.

Bryan (of The Long Gones)
Bryan "BD" Dilsizian

      Beggars cant be choosers can they? I might have wanted more, but I got what they wanted to give. A double A-side three song, 7” (big hole) limited to 300 hand numbered vinyl copies.

      The first of a double A-Side (which is a lot like a double cheeseburger, except with music) is a rager titled "Tear You Apart". The jam outright reaches off the record with knife in hand. Slashing with guitar leads and rolling bass lines... Pounding with a steady rhythm and upfront drawing vocals. The Long Gones never sounded fresher or better!

    "Tear You Apart" is a strong emotionally charged song brimming with convictions of isolation, rejection and desperation. Yeah, it’s about a girl... As soon as everything seems to be getting set up with this song, and an area seems to be cultivated for some guitar flexing and the whole thing is about to spread out to more verses and further use of the secret Peter Greenburg tipped JDAM, it just stops! I feel as if the song could have been twice as long. Yeah, this new, re-vamped 'survivor' version of The Long Gones sounds even closer to a Stooges influence than ever but it’s as if they reel in "Tear You Apart" before it even comes close to almost becoming a drawn-out Stooges epic of a song. Yeah that might be what everyone, myself including was suspecting anyway. It’s always good leaving the wanter's wanting more wanting more and as "Tear You Apart" draws to an end, I actually find myself missing the song in the few seconds until the next one begins... The wanter, wanting more… "Tear You Apart" wasn’t the attack; it was just the warm up. The beginning of the attack.

       Soon enough though, the other A-Side moves in for the kill…

      "Down That Road Before" launches and hits hard. You discover, soon enough, that your vessel has taken a direct hit! “Down That Road Before” is an appropriately paired song with "Tear You Apart". Both of the songs seem to capture at the same theme... They seem to share a theme; the songs are gettin’ at something but sometimes you just gotta let the story play out dont’cha? On “Down That Road Before” its action time! No more standing around! There is a lesson in there/here. Yeah, a lesson! Who ever said you can’t learn from a record? Of course you can... The lesson with "Down that Road Before" is that the lesson has been learned and now must be executed. Ha!

      "Down That Road Before" is an empowering, optimistic song. Take command before you can’t take command back. Its advice many people need to listen to and take heed if. "Down That Road Before" expounds the fact that its lesson is as simple as finding your own spot and allowing entrance, but is also not a domineering one. Share, but beware.

Andy, Bryan (of The Long Gones)
Andy "AJ" Jody, & Bryan from 2009
       You may be a taken fool if you don’t open up your eyes! Ha!

"I learned my lessons the first time around 
and if you don’t take two steps back, 
you'll get put down"

      No, "Down That Road Before" isn’t necessarily a love song or about a girl... This song can’t be just about a girl or relationship(s) can it? Well, it may be so after all, but this song is more about personal space. Allow it; honor it (or else). I must say that the guitar work on "Down That Road Before" is verily on the pleasing side. It’s more spot-on with what I expect by the presence of Peter Greenburg. The guitar-work screams and refuses to not be noticed. "Down That Road Before" could be (another) champion-level Long Gones song.

      In fact with just one side of the record down, this release has the shaping of a verily memorable 7" in the works. So, with that being said, lets move on to the single B-Side of the record, a country song turned obscure rock and/or roll standard “I’m Movin' On" originally written by Hank Snow and subsequently recorded and reworked numerous times by a wide range of artist from Elvis Presley to Emmy Lou Harris and even Loggins & Messina!

        Or is it?

       The Long Gones seemingly drew from the arrangement of the song as performed by the band known as [The] Evil, from Miami Florida in the 60’s. The Long Gones, coupled with Peter Greenburg definitely do the song justice. Admittedly so by Bryan in his e-mail to me, the song was only technically familiar to Peter Greenburg at the time of tracking the song. The Evils song was familiar to the band, their ears and record collections, but none-the-less a challenge still. The newly re-assembled version of The Long Gones dove head first into unfamiliar territory. Bringing forth the deal and assembling a rather ripping version of the song that would surely make Evil proud and make Hank Snow scratch through his greased up head of hair and only ask questions that everyone would refuse to answer.

      The song is a perfect fit in the triad of songs that seem to tale the tale of heartache and woe and revenge and I told ya so! attitudes. So yeah, unless yer looking deeper… Unless you are the type to go another step past where you normally find answers, then that’s what you get. Really though, that’s enough…

      The world can use another song about a love gone wrong. Its OK, no permission is needed. Heartache makes for some great all-time songs. It always will too.

       After all, lessons are to be learned AND executed right?

      As for new futures and secrets concerning The Long Gones, apparently it’s not so much secret this time.

"Abstract" (25 Second Exposure) by Dave "Wickey" Fitzwell
     “The Long Gones should be playing again late October, when Andy gets back from Europe. He is on tour with Peter, playing in Barrence Whitfield and the Savages. When we return, it will be a different line up. Stace, and I will stay put, but Andy will now be playing bass, and Lance Kaufman [of The Star Devils] on drums.” 

      Notably vacant is Long Gone original; Adam McAllister [bass] who Bryan also stated would proly make an appearance in future recordings. Bryan also went on to indicate that new material is currently being written for this second re-coming.

      See, I got through this whole article-thing without using or referencing the phrase Long Dongs…

Read the original article about The Long Gones from October 2009 in CityBeat HERE 

Continue to keep eyes on …THWART for future Long Gones doings and news...

Listen to songs from The Savages and The Long Gones on Functional Inconvenience HERE

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


So, a new episode of the biggest mess in the midwest, FUNCTIONAL INCONVENIENCE is now available for your 'pleasure' (however you define such a thing)...Listen to the newest installment HERE Just click on the link at the site  and it will begin playing...

FI #20
The 20th incident of FI is titled "Tragedy strikes again!  Object fall from the Sky!  People worry they're gonna die!" The movie this time around is the infamous Naked Lunch (the "Get Hungry" version) of which the ENTIRE film was shown, in one sitting! Bands played include Devo, Barkhard, Einsteins Riceboys, Past Mistress, The Edge, The Long Gones, Willie & Co., Guitar Wolf, Mark Chapmans .38 Caliber, End Result, Lou Reed, The Stooges, White Walls, Deathtrip, Beta Band, Kill The Hippies, The Chills, The Briefs, Stiff Little Fingers, Mission of Burma, Suicide Commandos, The Runaways, Wasteland Jazz Unit, Method Actors, The Professionals, XL Capris, Foreigner, Jeff, Go Go Go Airheart, Barrence Whitfield & The Savages, Josh Ritter, Tutu & The Pirates (x2), Vegetable, Gaunt, The Chocolate Horse, Gray, DA! Something Fierce, LOVE, The Sleepers, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, Figurines

The Table (with Records)FI co-host, the illustrious Brighty, turned me onto a new band called VEGETABLE and their one-sided 7" record and I was simply enough BLOWN AWAY by it! Its fun being excited about music again... Even if I dont understand why Im exactly saying 'again' the way I am... This band deserves attention. Im still having problems plopping down $5 for a 7", especially a one-sided one, but I hear thats pretty common place these days... Well, fuck these days... I will get use to it, but I still dont have to like it one fucking bit... I miss the $3 7"! Ba-humbug!!!


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Moving the Citadel

This use to be a castle
Now its just a hassle...

The news said sometime, in the next several days, a NASA satellite will fall to earth. Watching the news this morning, one newscaster said that this satellite was suppose to land somewhere in the Pacific ocean.

In related news, there is a conspiracy theory stating that a large 'mothership' is supposed to return to earth sometime this weekend that was launched by the Egyptians 6,000 years ago and is some sort of 'time capsule' loaded to the brim with lost knowledge.

Science will have its revenge.

Until then, listen to a practice version of a Socials song called "Moving The Citadel" recorded by Andy Brightone at our practice space we call Eight Foot Under (8FU)

"Citadel" is a song that was developed as a concept. One day, earlier this decade, just before the band Zero Crag disintegrated, AJ was showing Mike and I his new room. He pointed to a specific place in his room and said "This use to be a castle..."

He insisted that he said closet, but Mike heard him say castle too. So I jotted the thought down on a piece of paper, a common practice of mine, and rejoined the thought when writing the lyrics for the song that would become The Socials "Moving The Citadel"

No, despite popular belief, song lyrics are not "You use to be a hassle, now your an asshole" but its ok if people think that way...

Listen to the Song HERE






Sunday, September 18, 2011

Never Forget: Never Again.

Believe it or not, but the idea for these two pictures came to me at a stop-light in front of Bob Evans just after I quietly, to myself, decided what I wanted to eat. From idea to execution was under 30 minutes.While setting up the shot a waitress walked by the table and laughed when I was snapping the picture.
NEVER AGAIN 09 11 11

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Chocolate Horse (Video)

"I know all your vices..."

...The guy video-taping the event ended up being an old high school acquaintance of mine, a fella named Justin Cole. He still hasn't looked me up on facebook as promised; because "I'm on the motherfucker now" but that's OK, I haven't looked him up either... I never did tell about his underground newsletter to the teachers that he distributed throughout the school anonymously either. Yeah, I knew it was him (because he told me), but it was great how it ruffled the feathers of all those uptight birds. After all his actions made the morning announcements! Justin's shenanigans were a verily inspirational thing that I admired.

This is one of many video's that are popping up by Justin concerning Chocolate Horse and their appearance at Shake It Records. Justin regularly shoots in-store appearances for Shake It Records including reveling footage of Reverend Peyton and some amazing capturing's of Strange Tunge that are both worth their weight in gold. All videos are of qualitous footage and available for viewing from Justin's You-Tube page located HERE

I think my post/pre song banter might have proven to be an editing challenge.


We all need to be challenged from time to time. 


Monday, September 12, 2011

Dave Fitzwell Rides A Chocolate Horse

These are the additional photo's by Dave "Wickey" Fitzwell of the Shake It Records In-store appearence of The Chocolate Horse. 

Check Dave's Flickr site out, he is an amazing photographer with a eagles-eye. CLICK HERE
The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick

The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick

The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick

The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick

The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick

The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick

The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Chocolate Horse "Beast"

The Chocolate Horse
"We are Beast, to say the least; not even enough for a feast"
I shuffle down to Shake It Records for an in-store appearance of The Chocolate Horse (TCH) and to pick up a copy of their newest fullie, Beast. I had been waiting for this one since the last one came out. I just can’t get enough of TCH. I hunger for their eclectic audious spreadings. Each of their releases have yet to wear down my interest. Their past efforts, Patience Works (2007) and We Don’t Stand On Ceremony (2010) are still as fresh now, as they were the, when originally released.

Longtime compatriot, and photographer extraordinaire, Dave "Wickey" Fitzwell, and I arrive at Shake It Records lately. Damn that Darou Salam and their window of bulk rice bags, their wall of bootleg African DVD’s and their re-imported bottles of corporate soda (small bottles of coke-a-cola exported to Africa, then brought back into the country and sold at their store). It’s all Darou Salams fault! If they weren’t so interesting… As we walk in TCH are ending a rather spiriting performance of a personal favorite of mine, "Caribbean".

It sounded amazing! It had been a while since I seen TCH, true. I knew that sometime in the past, Johnny Ruza had been made a permanmemt fixture of TCH with his alto flute, and I realize that one of the original three, the ever busy and active Andrew Higley would become more of a rotative figure... I also realized that on the previous two releases and during live shows Jason Snell and Paul Brum have called on various local artist and their abilities to put forth TCH as a unit. Nothing wrong with any of that either. When you seen TCH on a flyer, they were sure to please... So walking in during "Caribbean" I was instantly captivated by the line-up that, after getting a couple songs deeper into their showing, were just downright rocking the mother-fucking district.

I would later discover on the sleeve of Beast that Joe Suer, who was situated with a keyboard to his right and to his front a vibraphone that he masterfully piloted, as well as Dave Cahill, who was no stranger to TCH himself and situated behind a full drum set were now regulars. Jason, Paul (who was wielding a standard bass with masterful precision) and Mr. Ruza along with Joe and Cahill definitely had something going on!

              The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick
               By Dave Fitzwell
The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick
By Dave Fitzwel 

"Caribbean" kicked, and it was no fluke. Other TCH staples like "Whiskey Won" and "Thick Orange Piping" never sounded better and accented newer material like set stand-outs and Beast heavies "Make It Up Tonight" and "Fools Gold."
Andrew Jody ask me if I think its OK if he opened a beer that he back-packed in. A stow-a-way... "Only if I get the first swig" I say. He obliges. The Chocolate Horse is raging. Giving a soundtrack to little acts of sabotage. Another beer would follow Andy's first beer.
It had been too long since I seen TCH! I had missed a lot. They proved this with every song played. I was so embarrassed that when called out from their positions, I claimed to be a clone of myself. I hid behind the safety of a lie. I had a strong fear that I had wasted too much time observing Darou Salams shelves full of ill-stocked merchandise of upside down, backwards and otherwise topsy turvey methods of display. As TCH played on, proving to me that I must pay closer attention to this band, I would surmise that I seen the larger share of the songs that they performed.

I did not deserve such a vigorous and well-played set of precision song excellence, but TCH as always, delivered...

As I would purchase my plate-thick absinthe colored vinyl copy of Beast and add it to my own personal collection, in more ways than one... Once again, on their third fullie to date, TCH would deliver!

They always deliver…

On Beast, as I am also seeing from other bands and their tertiary, releases (gasp! A trend?) TCH are solidifying their sound. Tightening up. Defining the edges. Calling out the reserves... By no means taking a step back, but none-the-less leaping forward.

I hear none of the signature drum machine that really gave TCH distinction. I hear less horn also but with Cahill and Ruza, and what they bring forth with Joe, the older TCH stuff still sounds amazing (different, but amazing) and these newer sounds and the songs take on a whole different, urgency.

I read in a review of Beast, a press release regurgitation piece, that TCH had been birthed from the functionality of Jason and quick little love songs...Yeah, well, that may have been so, and nothings wrong with that. Love is a passion. Love is romantic. Passion is emotion. Romance is too. Both are not necessarily limited to what common definitions limit them to. Passion, Love and even Romance all can be different things that resemble each other. But in its rawest form all three can also be each other’s direct opposite. Resentment, disgust and hate...

Beast shows an enthusiasm and darkness that really defines a new beginning. Songs like "Lasso Lasso", "The Sahara" and "Characters of Egypt" create an atmosphere with their delivery. They are mature songs with a mature sound. The bridge you just crossed just blew up. That’s ok though because that bridge outlived its usefulness. If you need to go back, you can ride a felucca.

It’s not about going back; it’s all about moving forward. On '"Escape All Responsibility" you hear the serious brow furling overtones that set TCH's spot firmly in a position of firmness. You’re either with them, or you’re against them. Time for play is over, its time to play.

That’s why this fullie is full of ultra-mega-beauty. It’s biting; it’s a bit mean. That’s good! Beast is a punch to the gut. Your left surprised thinking "I didn’t know they had it in them" and there’s more...

The journey continues with "Make It Up Tonight" and the experience of the frailness and ability to just allow the total collapse is solidified with "Terrible Lies" and "Drive Your Stake".

Beast has darkness, a realness that I welcome. It’s a walk through the busiest shopping mall you can find and catching glimpses of black eyes and cut lips and bloody knuckles on the surrounding crowd. That could be you that will be you. Your turn is coming up. Every wound has a story behind it and every song does too.

Beast, breaking from the softer color schemes of their previous efforts is TCH's stance is a document of continued defiance that you can dance to. Beast brings out calks forth the mischievous nature in us all. Beast is that kind of soundtrack. Song after song of examples that things don’t have to be the same, they don’t have to fit the mold to still deliver.

Beast is a great record from a truly great band. It continues the already amazing run that TCH has had. There’s something about them that really clicks with me. Each record is better than the next one that I’m already waiting for.

The Chocolate Horse By: Dave Fishwick
by Dave Fitzwell


On the way from the TCH In-store, at a inconvenient convenience store just down the street that had just shut down for the day, there was a display sign, about 3 feet square advertising Faygo

“It’s been years since I’ve seen a bottle of Faygo, much less an advertisement” said Wickey, and he was right. I thought back as far as I could and I went back to my pre-teen years and my Grandparents refrigerator.

“That just goes to show you how desperate times are getting” I said.

*      *      *
Here is one of the very first videos I ever shot and edited all by my lonesome using software I still have a fragile understanding of using... From 2007, just as "Patience Works" was debuting and Johnny Ruza was finding his spot with the band. The dancer at the end is a hero of mine, a drifter that claimed to know a guy named 'Jethro Tull' who had this band...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Last American

The Last American (?) Photo Shoot
09/04/11  The Last American?   photo by Julie
          In the late 90's it was decided that the structure of the US military should be re-designed to better protect against an attack on American soil that they expected no later than 2003...

            The Last American is the accumulated result of a decade's worth of ultra-level faux patriotism and the insanity of war fervor colliding on a minute-to-minute basis. The Last American sets the scene where a simple dinner with friends becomes entangled into a bigger, jumbled struggle where it appears everything, and everyone has an agenda, has a plan, and everyone knows deep down that they are doing the right thing, at the right place at the right time.

            In a day and age where many people are convinced that they are living in the decline of an empire and are seeing the death of The American Dream from the 50 yard-line, you will wonder and ask the question of yourself that you were afraid to ask before now...

            Who is The Last American?

*  *  *

            THE LAST AMERICAN is the first official short story by Shawn Abnoxious. Whereas it is based on the truth, the story is truly a fictional tale that accumulates more than ten years of avid news broadcast viewing and reading in-between the lines.

            The story clocks in over 6,000 words and be forewarned, the subject matter of the story is NOT for weak stomachs (you have been forewarned). This story also breaks boundaries and standards by featuring not only an epilogue, but also two (2) preludes! A double prelude which is similar to a double-cheeseburger, but with words!

            Plus, there is a bonus question at the end of the story that is worth up to 10 bonus points!

          THE LAST AMERICAN is available for FREE download as a PDF/E-book. Tell your friends. Pass the story along. Join the free spirit of literacy and social awareness. The Last American would do it, will you?

            Download THE LAST AMERICAN (TLA)  HERE   HERE

            Pass it along.

            If you would like a copy of THE LAST AMERICAN to be sent directly to your e-mail, then feel free to ask... Send an e-mail to, and put "SEND AMERICAN" in the subject. I will get it back to you promptly IF it is not back-ordered...

Saturday, September 3, 2011


Mike Schlie was good.
No, not actually good...
But good at what he done.

As a child I grew to fear him.
As an adult, I can’t wait
Until I see him again.

Once upon a time
    in The Proving Grounds...
I was running from him...
Running away was what I did
when Schlie turned up.
Everyone ran...
I done nothing to him, 
I never did anything to him...
Schlie targeted me anyway.
I was the easy target.
Slow. Fat. Weak. Bad fighter...
Schlie set his sights on me
the way a cheetah does its prey...
He dismounted his bike
to run after me...
He was a jerk like that.
He ran after me with ease.
He was toying with me...
At one point he even ran circles
around me while laughing and calling me names.
He ran circles around me
and still had breath
to verbally accost me and laugh!
All while I continued to run my hardest!
Like I said,
                 he was a jerk like that.
While attempting escape…
It embarrasses me even now!
He isolated me.
The weakest one his bike patrol could find.
He moved in for the kill…
Schlie kicked my legs out from under
me with a disciplined sweeping kick.
I toppled to the hard sidewalk.
Schlie would hover overtop of me
and taunt me.
Schlie was barking and growling
                    like the horrid beast
He would never stop being...
And he was slapping me!
And he was punching me!
And he was kicking me!
I covered my head
                        and silently wished him to die.

He eventually got bored and left.
He always did.
His feeble mind needing to be given
a sequence of continual conquest.
He got back on his bike,
victorious in his own mind…
His patrol resumed.
His hunt continued.
Feeling better about himself now,
surely his trademark smirk
was showing strongly.
He was, once again, full of shallow-pride.
After I was sure he was gone
I got up and dragged my scratched
and bruised body home.


I would attempt to take Tae Kwon Do
So I could learn how to kick his ass
but eventually the problem was solved
when I moved away to Atlanta Georgia.

Schlie would only re enter my life once
as the next-door neighbor of some good friends.
"Yeah, we have this real screwy neighbor..."
They would say one evening.
It ended up being Schlie.
After all these years
It would work out that he
would still be playing his role.
                              Still, again.
The Cheetah patrolling with his smirky smirk.
Feeding on a diet of continual conquest...
Schlie was still the big bad bully...
But now, things had changed.
                     They intensified.
In a bad way…
He was the bully of the entire community now.

Schlie was the chief of police.

In the same neighborhood
            he terrorized me in.
The cheetah still on the prowl
hunting the prey
                        that run away
                                            day after day.

This time he had a partner, the badge.
The streets are more dangerous than ever!

One day I will see him,
Approach him and remind him...
Remind him how he was a bully.
Remind him, how in many ways,
                          he is still a bully.
A smirking bully with a badge.
No matter how many awards or medals
he gets or ever receives.
No matter how many bus loads of kids
and old people he saves
from a wreck or terrorist attack
or whatever other
fill-in-the-blank calamity that may yet exist...
No matter if he does any of that,
or all of that,
or any number of the myriad of things
that makes cops appear to be heroic...

Schlie will never be my hero.

He will always be that kid
who made me wish I were dead.
After all my wishing that he was dead
never, ever, worked out.

One day I will look him straight in the eye
and tell him those exact words.
I guess the fear is gone...