Saturday, November 29, 2014

The Revenge of USA BOOBS

Gosh... I have so much to say and not enough patience and/or time to properly say everything I want to say... I would like this 'dispatch' -- or whatever the kids are calling it thesedays -- to start by explaining that despite what the movie trailer is trying to acomplish, GONE GIRL starring Ben Affleck is NOT a 'date movie.' Well, not a 'date movie' AFTER that steamy cunnilingus scene (yeah, Im surprised I spelled that right too) that popped pretty early in the movie, but none-the-less, its a decent movie and has, at least, the illusion of being well-written and as enjoyable as a murder/crime movie could be.

Or is that just my boobs talking?

You go ahead and laugh, but Im being serious here... One of my favorite 'art' pieces, personally, that I created was drawing a rack of boobs on the star-spangled banner. In the Immortal words of Kurt Vonnegut ala Breakfast of Champions, the art piece looked like this:

Well, finally, as it would turn out, my 'American Boobs' or 'Star-Spangled Boobs' -- whatever the kids are calling it thesedays -- was ultimately out-done. The American Zeitgeist wins. I paid the price... American Boobs got even... The Star-Spangled Titties hit back at my very man-hood itself. They say that vengence is a dish best served cold... Cold... And perky too! I had noticed over a weeks time the that I was developing breast! I began to become self-consious and i felt strange about the whole situation. I wondered if I was destined to become a Fight Club/Robert Paulson 'Space Monkey,' but made the best out of it. If you arent able to laugh about it, and make others laugh, then whats the point?

When, at the BUFFALO KILLERS release show for their latest slab-o-wax, Fireball of Sulk... At the recently (?) re-designated CANAL PUBLIC HOUSE aka 'The Canal Street Tavern' in Dayton Ohio, when the essance of Dayton poured into a small group of fucking idiots that had boasted under their breath that someone in their group was a 'Body-Builder' and another knew 'Karate'... Dayton forces, and supports, completely illogical thinking. Dayton wants you to make bad decisions. Dayton thrives on bad decisions. Dayton feeds on darkness, despair and violence. You walk a fine-line in Dayton between bad and really bad. Danger surrounds you in Dayton... Dayton will give to the fuse, and give you a match for the fuse, but you gotta bring the flame. You got to light the match. This well-dressed hip-shaking band of derelicts had a huge chip on their soldier that they eagerly waited to be knocked-off... Looking for a reason to fight. Not necessarily a fight that they knew theyd win... After all there was a body-builder AND karate fighter on their team... The group wanted not only to fight... If they win, they win, but if they lost, they were fine with that too! THAT is a form of 'crazy' itself, but they would each find their match yet.

This group actually expected no-one to stand in front of their view of the opening band. Trust me here on this, when Andy Gabbard was tapped on a shoulder and told to move... Well, things got hairy... Lines were immediately drawn and despite another over-heard promise of 'someone getting knocked-the-fuck-out'... It was a treat to see the rare site of Zach Gabbard 'out-crazying' the group by stating "No ones gonna get knocked-out tonight boys"... A chorus of apologies cascaded forth from Andy G... In an attempt to loosen up the situation that was actually on its way to being resolved, I asked Andy G. if he would feel better if he "rubbed on my titties a little bit" and at that moment things were truly diffused. Andy G. laughed and he smiled... Two things that Andy G. is truly great doing.

If I was too self-consious to tell anyone about my boobs, this situation may have needed a few more lefties before a reasoning could be reached but non-the-least, reached. So, this night, my boobs, were at the top of its game. My boobs reached a climax... Of sorts. Id like to say my Boobs were a hero that night even though they werent... Every hero dies. No hero lives forever. Even now, testosterone injections are slowly fixing my boobs issue... All good times end. Its been a good ride boys...

 Anyhow, get yer copy of The Buffalo Killers new one... Six songs of timeless rock similar in their delivery to Heavy Revery. The Buffalo Killers continue to release quality releases in the vein of Blue Cheer... A comparison that I cant really get beyond, but whats so bad about that? My unconditional support of the 'Killers is known here, on Thwart... Something that I use as an excuse, or disclaimer... No more discaimers from here on out! Buffalo Killers. Fireball of Sulk. Make it happen.