Grow Horns / Miles Uroshevich / Grow Horns (Interview)

It was during the morning (approx.9: 30) of Monday July 15th just as the first cup of morning coffee was being supped upon that I seen the altered fb event for a Grow Horns (Acoustic) appearance at The Rakes End on 7/27 removed... 


Why? Well, that’s not really for me to say. This interview was intended to serve as a dual promotion for the show on 7/27 initially... 

After Miles' issue and dropping off the show and giving Miles a chance to explain his views to THWART, he declined.

So, here is the interview. One thing you can say is that he believes in what he is doing and has self-confidence in his actions to tell you to go fuck yourself…

Even if you're right.

Questions by Shawn Abnoxious

Answers by Miles Uroshevich who also supplied pictures

. . .     . . .     . . .     . . . . . .     . . .     . . .     . . .

I know who you are but to those who don’t would you mind introducing yourself to the readers of THWART and tell them a little about yourself and what you do?

Hello, My name is Miles Uroshevich, I am 22 years of age and was born and raised in Cincinnati, OH, USA. I have made music and anti music under various monikers and with various bands in Cincinnati for the past decade, the highlights of which would include Ann Weigel, Hyper Beam, Steam Age Time Giant, and my current noise/acoustic project Grow Horns. I am also the founder and owner of the Cincinnati-based Experimental music label WHALETRAP.


But there are two versions of Grow Horns right?

Well, its all the same really, it's just me, doing whatever I want to do at the time. Sometimes I want to play an acoustic guitar and sing pretty songs that I make up randomly. Other times I want to make harsh and wall noise, loud and fast. It really all depends on my mood, but I feel I have a talent for both, so I do both...

But really that's confusing to most people who like one version of Grow Horns more than the other (and I guess, really, most people agree)... Do you find one version of Grow Horns interferes with the other version of Grow Horns sometimes? I mention in particular June 1st at The Comet. You were going to do Acoustic Grow Horns but when someone seen Grow Horns on the flyer you were quickly 'pulled' despite protest from The Socials. Would you care to comment about that occurrence here on Thwart?

I think it can only be confusing if you don't do yr research...but I like that element of grow horns. It’s kind of like a random surprise when I play because a lot of the time people have no idea what's going on at a particular show, let alone take the time to try and figure it out. That’s sort of what happened with that show at the comet. They just saw the name on the flyer and decided that I shouldn't play because of the problems that occurred at the last show I booked there, which were minor. Even though the two shows would have been completely different, my name stuck in their heads enough to set off the red flags. but then again, they know me by now, so I guess it really doesn't matter what the name of my project is. I take is as paying personally for a night where they didn't sell enough drinks. I was mainly just bummed on missing an opportunity to play with the bands on the night in question, it was a good line up...and I guess to answer the first part of that question, I feel like having one sort of name umbrella to go by is kind of interesting when you are making a lot of varied sounds, it's nice to let people know that you are capable of producing more than just one dimensional songs...

So how can people do their research if there are two versions of the same band? Do you specifically say, "This show is a noise showing, THAT show is the acoustic Grow Horns" Do you specify which venues get which version? How would someone interested know what they’re getting into?

Perhaps I should elaborate on "do yr research" see, I consider myself to be something of a music nut, when I hear a band or artist that I really like, I immediately want to know everything there is to know about said band/artist. I know this habit doesn't apply to everyone, but I think if your are interested in anything, it's at least worth a little consideration on yr part. Try to find a website or an interview like this one, go to more than one show, talk to the artist at the show, stuff like that. If you treat yr interests casually, you are bound to be disappointed at some level...now sometimes I will go out of my way when telling people about one of my shows to say "yea look, this one's an acoustic set" or whatever. But also, getting back to my comment about how people rarely know what's going on at any given show, a lot of the time, despite my best efforts to keep it a surprise, it's pretty fucking obvious (to me anyway) what kind of show it's going to be, just look for context clues. If it's "grow horns" with a bunch of other artists who describe themselves as noise/experimental artists, I’m probably not going to bring the acoustic. Really I find that there is no excuse for confusion over something as simple as what kind of set ill be doing on a given night, we live in the Internet age, if you want to learn anything bad enough, it's usually a few clicks/ google search entries away, at all times. And now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve never heard from anyone who likes what I do express confusion over the diversity of the project, they just take it as it comes, most people don't give a shit about grow horns anyway, ahahahahaha....


I agree 'casual interest' isn’t the way you 'roll' neither with me also. I have rarely, went to a show walking in sonically blinded. The last time may have been when I seen GROW HORNS for the first time. I knew what to expect with STEAM-AGE TIME-GIANT but not other acts.... Do you think, in general, any crowd you face as either version of GROW HORNS really does or doesn’t give a shit? Is QUALITY vs. QUANTITY still an issue in local shows?

Well that's usually kind of hard for me to gauge when I play here at home in Cincinnati, where I play 90% of the time. I mean, the scene here is really small, and everyone who makes experimental music has seen everyone else [in the scene] play dozens of times, and it's been that way for years, which occasional spikes of variance. I feel like pretty much everyone who isn't already someone I’d consider a friend doesn't give a shit either because they don't like noise in general or they don't like me personally, which is fine, I’ve gotten used to people not liking me for whatever arbitrary reasons they dream up. But yea, another thing I get a lot from people is, "I wish you would just stick to yr solo song writing stuff" meaning "not noise" which again is just a reflection of their taste, which is fine.... but yea, I feel like I’ve gotten all the fans I’m gonna get in Cincinnati, and that's why it's time for me to hit the road, and find people who can just absorb my music without any kind of personal or social bias...

Hard question that I’m not even too sure I could answer about myself if asked bit I’m gonna sling it to you because that’s how the rock rolls... What about you and your sonic expression is so unlikable? I’m confused. Right from the start you were friendly, talkative and made eye to eye contact and sympathy toward my medical footwear which is much more than some of my friends has ever offered... Is there some switch that you toggle on and off to get unlikable impressions? What’s the deal?

You know, in some situations I have a pretty good idea why certain people may not care for me, but by in large, I have no idea. When I go to shows and shit I feel poisonous, like people think I’m diseased or something, maybe some of that is in my head, I’m not sure. I have never really been able to put my finger on it. I think some of it may have to do with the fact that I don't kiss anyone's ass around here (in Cincinnati) I don't worship the punk/noise stalwarts, I don't give praise to people who I think aren't deserving of it.... I treat people with a general sense of respect, but I am also the first guy to tell someone to fuck right off if I think they need to...IDK, I just don't have time to be anyone's best friend, or to blow sugar up anyone's ass

Is 'it',,, the whole 'scene' about kissing ass or how much does jealousy have to do with it? Sometimes, stand-offness smells like jealousy.

IDK, I can't think of any reason anyone would have to be jealous of me, I wouldn't consider myself to be a person who "has his shit together" at all.... I’m an alcoholic, I’m constantly broke, and most people don't really stick around for my sets long enough to be jealous of my "sound" I think a lot of what makes this scene go around is back patting when it isn't called for, a lot of people are really quick to expect praise when it isn't deserved, a lot of people play with the mindset that they are the greatest and that everyone should be beholden to their obvious "talent" where as I am just an audiophile, I get off on making sounds, of all kinds, so it's never really mattered to me if people show up or not, or whether they like me personally or not, it's never been about "them"

Maybe they admire your sound because they see it as threatening. You are clearly confident enough and have levels of comfort, which allow you to think then act. That and confidence are strong weapons. Is sonic art. YOUR sonic art threatening?

The comfort comes from knowing that other people are highly sophisticated machines; they can think and analyze the same way I can. They make their own judgments, whether I speak a word or not, its same with everyone.... that concept brings me comfort because I know I’m not alone, in my self-hatred, or my self doubt. People always expect to meet an enemy, and they're not always entirely wrong. I can at least say that we as a species are entirely more complex than we wish to believe, there is a great deal of value in meditation.... confidence comes from understanding that you live in a mirror world. The sounds that I make are fragmented representations of that idea, that this world is not always what it seems to be. There are flaws everywhere, and the sound is a reflection of that. If that's threatening to some people than so be it, but we live in a crooked spectrum, and there is no getting around that, sooner or later....

Do you feel misunderstood when it comes to sonic expression? Once again, is your sonics/music, threatening? 

I usually only feel misunderstood when I try to do a noise set in a setting that's not really noise appropriate. A good example of that is the show at which we first met (Shawn and I). I was opening up for another band that I also play in (Steam Age Time Giant-STAG) and was really more focused on the SATG set than my own, so during the grow horns set, I turned all my shit up as high as it would go volume wise and just blasted the room with a wall of static for about 3 minutes. During which some fat bitch, who obviously had no understanding of experimental music walked up to me and started yelling at me to turn it down, like right in the middle of my set, so she and her friends could talk or whatever. It’s really just shit like that that bothers me, like when people come out to shows and are more interested in socializing and getting drunk than actually participating in a cultural exchange, no matter how bizarre it may seem to them.

Wow, I don’t recall anyone saying anything to you at my first Grow Horns exposure but I think it was great how you handled it... When you’re doing a noise set of Grow Horns what makes you turn this knob rather than that one... Do this then that...  

Noise isn't anything new, it's been around for the better part of the 20th and obviously 21st century, it goes through it's phases and trends like any other genre, so I really don't think anyone who's at all in the know would find what I or anyone else does as "shocking" or "off putting" unless they have just never been exposed to anything like that before... but yea, I’m not sure if my music is considered "threatening" to anyone, I hope they don't see it that way, because that's not really my intention. I just like to play shit that makes me think,” wow, I’ve never really gotten that sound to come out before, let's try that again and see if we can control it." that's how I want people to view my noise stuff, with a prolonged curiosity. I mean, I’ve played sets before where dudes crowded around me and cheered for me as if I were playing a guitar solo or something, when I’m just screaming into a tape machine, which is awesome. The younger crowds have always been super interested/supportive of what I do, because their minds are still open and waiting to be challenged. To me that the point of experimental music, to force people to constantly reevaluate their definition of what music actually IS, or isn't.

Beethoven was alive today would he play a noise show surrounded by a cast of amps and instruments fir sounding?

I think Beethoven would be a lot more interested in drone metal than noise....

Lets talk about Grow Horns version: ACOUSTIC (like Lion Voltron and Vehicle Voltron). How did GH 'Proper Seasons' come about?

Well "Proper Seasons" the album was the result of a days worth of recording with Cincinnati experimental guru Jon Lorenz. The basic idea was to get really solid recordings of a lot of the songs that I had been playing live for a few years. I gave those tracks to Andy Slob at Centsless and he made an edit of his top 7 tracks from that session, that's where the album comes from. The title is a reference to the conditions in which they were recorded, they were perfect and well timed, I needed to get those songs out, like a farmers need to plant seeds in late spring, it just all came together really well, the title is a reflection of that...

Seasons is strong lyrically with cryptic allegory and subversive Ideas. As soon as I heard the first five seconds, I knew I liked it. Could you list each track and use five words and that’s it to describe each track? This could add to the mystery or destroy the mystery with your words... That’s your choice

#1. "Ripper's Keep" it's about jack the ripper #2. "Turn Yr Yeast Infection into a Jewel Collection" it's about an anorexic girl (fictional) #3 "Concrete Cores" bad breakup song #4 "An occasional crack in the enamel" suicide in the face of modern life #5 "Sartre's Song" random psychedelic nonsense #6 "terrible one" ?
#7 "for eagle and share" a fictional tale of loss

Do you feel more prominent doing one version of Grow Horns over another? Will there ever be a day when you will just stop doing any Grow Horns? I ask this cause I heard you once say that you were only gonna keep the GH name for one year then do another name...

Well, I’ve always kind of wanted to do a concept album, and The Grass Cross is probably the closest I’ll ever get. It’s basically about humankind's rejection of nature, and the narcissistic aspects of man. I like recording albums quickly, because I feel if you take too much time on any given record, it becomes something completely different than what you initially started out trying to make. I ran the idea by Andy, and he was willing to record it, so we just went from there, it's been a really organic and fun process so far, and the songs I’m writing for this record are unlike anything I’ve ever done before. I’m experimenting a lot with vocal techniques while still trying to maintain the simplicity of the musical arrangements that I’ve come to be known for. I really can’t wait for people to hear it, because it will challenge the listener, they won't get any of it with one or two casual listens, it will have to grow on you, over a period of time... like planting seeds and waiting for them to sprout

So, amongst other ideals, 'moment capturing' is a concept you are steeped very well in correct? The Grass Cross is a concept release, understandable, but you just said 'the songs I’m writing for this record' which tells me The Grass Cross, isn’t done yet when I was sort of assuming it was reaching post-production phase. What’s the current status of The Grass Cross? When can the regular guy expect to hear it?

Yes, that is correct. I have done a majority of my recordings on a handheld walkman cassette recorder. So I usually deal in the realm of one take, one try recording, nothing fancy.... on "THE GRASS CROSS" I am working with the opposite of that, I am working in a studio setting. That’s why I am taking a bit more time on this record, because I have a great facility to work with, and Andy is very patient with me in fleshing out my ideas, so I haven't felt rushed to finish anything. Right now, he and I are still in the recording process. I am still writing new songs on a daily basis to be included in the pool of songs we draw from to make the record, and I am also going back and adding additional instrumental tracks to certain songs to augment the feeling of a multidimensional release.... to give it ambiance. In a perfect world I’d like the record to be done and ready to release by my birthday this year (AUGUST 25TH). But I can’t really say for sure, again, it's something I’m trying to pace myself on...

If someone wanted to hear your best song, in your opinion, what would that song be?

Either "as mountains kiss, we collide" or "ego thinning" both of which will appear on my upcoming album "THE GRASS CROSS" so really, Andy and a handful of others are the only people to have heard either of those songs yet...

We only sparsely mentioned Whale Trap. If I remember, you formed a label just because you could... A whole 'why not?' urge... Correct? Talk about what you want Whale Trap to be... What’s your mission?

Well I started doing WHALETRAP at the tail end of last year in an effort to put my own experimental works out there under a label, to make it seem somewhat more legitimate, and also to release music from other bands like WAN (out of Pullman, Washington). I just wanted to have a label that was essentially a collection of really weird/fucked up music, that I felt people wouldn't get to hear as much otherwise if I didn't turn some kind of tiny spotlight onto. And that's really the whole idea, when you buy a WHALETRAP release, yr mainly just paying for the music, other than that I keep the packaging really simple, and almost always use recycled materials (i.e. cd cases, tapes, tape cases, and paper). None of them really looking stunning, but the contents of the tapes and discs is rare and magical.

Sound out weighs the flare of packaging?

Always

Is there anything you would like to mention before closing? Anything you want to make sure is said? A final statement?

First off I’d like to thank you for allowing me this forum to express myself. I’d like to thank Andy slob for being an awesome dude, and putting up with my bullshit all the time, and for helping to get the grow horns name out there. I’d like to thank Jon Lorenz for also putting up with my bullshit, helping me make buttons and shit for WHALETRAP, and for helping me make some of the best records I’ve ever done. I’d like to thank my girlfriend for again putting up with my bullshit, and for always carting my broke ass to my shows, and for being an awesome partner. Other that I’d like to mention to yr readers and anyone else who may not know me, that I will be around for a long time, I’m going to keep cranking out records and playing my ass off until I simply can't anymore. I’m not a bad guy, just a little bit of an asshole, just a little bit misunderstood. If you give me a chance, I will give you a chance, thanks for listening and please visit: 

http://whaletraprecords.blogspot.com/ 
http://growhorns.bandcamp.com/

Find Grow Hoorns at Centsless Productions too

[Past-Blast] [Blank Generation-July. 2001]

Reviews from Blank Generation originally published in July 2001 Note: Images added to certain reviews for cosmetic purposes in 2013

Jane Speed 

Pic from Blank Generation nterview courtesy of Joe Domino

"Are Those Prescription?" CD

So, like, here we go. I have a lot to say about this band because they really fucking knocked me for a loop. I don’t know how to do anything different than to start at the beginning. And this is going to be a while so get comfortable. Grab a glass of ice and some generic Cola. Sit with me. Rot with me. Rock with me....

Getting phone calls… I’m in The Socials. I AM a 'social'. True slaves to low waves… Sometimes those waves are high… We’re playing shows. Getting out there… Selling candy, making money… Other times the waves are low
. It’s a barren worm infested (i.e. DUNE) desert. No one wants us. No one likes us. Everyone is like, "Social Who?" Cosmic battles for the spice.... No big deal… I’m fine with it, really. I learned, just as the other Socials, to take it as it comes. I play in The Socials, and make music, and release that music because I want to. IF people like it, good for them, if people hate it, BETTER!

So "Morte" from Kill the Hippies calls and ask for The Socials to play "PP Envy’s" birthday party. Of course those names aren’t their real names. They are used to protect the innocent. If you learn their 'real' names then good for you buttercup. Until then, have fun on the bottom, and believe me, YOU ARE on the bottom.

PP Envy was having one of her favorite bands down from Massachusetts called Jane Speed and both her and Morte thought The Socials would fit in nicely on the bill. Morte said something along the lines of, "I think you will really like this band. They have keyboards and are pretty Neoteric."

Boom! He said it. That was all that was needed to get me interested. And really, you NEVER have to twist my fucking arm to get my ass up to Kent, more specifically The Mantis Gallery. This trip makes it the Seventh time The Socials have graced the Mantis Gallery’s stage and this time it’s just one day after the reunion of Akron’s own Rubber City Rebels. The stage was lined in chopped up tires to fit nicely with the Rebels whole schtick.

Pic from Blank Generation nterview courtesy of Joe Domino

The day of the show arrived. We armed ourselves with guitars. Amplification… Drums… 12 packs…and nourished ourselves with "Fast Food." Fast food for fast people. The Socials are returning to Kent. Kenny (on Broadway) was long gone, to the coast of The San Frand-a-sisco. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. I did. I missed him terribly. I would have broken down and cried if we hadn’t had a three-hour phone conversation with him the previous night. You might say I am crazy. You might call me a lot of things that may or may not be true. You might call me hippie but I truly felt Kenny’s presence with me as I floundered around The Mantis Gallery, which, with the tires lining the stage and so, was looking HOTTT! It looked as if there is a rebirth of my most favorite venue to ever visit, and it was even looking like the floors were being swept and the bathroom! Maintenance! The bathroom was actually the cleanest that I have ever seen it. Yes, the Kinko’s made Socials sticker is STILL in the broken shard of mirror that rest on the back of the toilet.

Pic from Blank Generation nterview courtesy of Joe Domino

You know, I don’t really mean to write about The Socials that much in this review. I think I am just doing this because you see, members of Jane Speed and Monster Attacks (more on them later) were vital in leading us, The Socials, to probably playing one of the best shows in our existence. We were dead on in our delivery. Eleven songs, finishing with our new signature hit "Slaves to the Low Wave", but being urged to do two more. We don’t really like to play more when asked because we like to leave people wanting more. But we, The Socials, did what we did for Monster Attacks, Jane Speed, our close friend (whose hand smells like a carnival) Rob, and of course we can’t forget Kill the Hippies and PP Envy’s Birthday! Because of who they were, and how great they were, we played on! It was the greatest gift any band could give another, a song. An ounce of creativity… Pound of sweat… Jane Speed’s set, and The Monster Attacks’ set before them, and the mere presence of Kill the Hippies and Rob FUELED US! We played two more songs on top of our planned eleven, then The Jerry (Socials drummer) puked. Adrenaline overdose. The last show Jerry puked at we did four extra songs with two of those songs being repeats. The Celina, Ohio crowd didn’t care that they wanted more and got a bargain’s worth. Jane Speed asked for more… Monster Attacks asked for more… Kill the Hippies asked for more, and Rob asked for more… What else can I say? Thank you!

So, here you got Jane Speed. They were getting ready while Monster Attacks assaulted the stage. I spy two keyboards. I spy a drum set. I spy a bass. I point down to the two keyboards and give the thumbs up hand sign to their keyboardist, who later told me she thought by the way I was carrying on during their set and acknowledging her keyboards beforehand I was some sort of veteran keyboard player. Me, Shawn Abnoxious, a 'veteran' at anything? Hell, I remember at one point in their set I was urging them to play keyboard with just their index fingers in a rapid motion back and forth and such because that’s how it’s supposed to be done according to the International Doctrine of New Wave Ethics (Section four, sub paragraph C).

Both me and, Socials ally, Andy were hooked right from the start. More post-riot grrl action i.e. Le Tigre, except Jane Speed was more humble. It sounded as if any minute that Jane Speed were about to collectively implode. Their sound was raw, basic but yet enthusiastic and relentless. To the point, Jane speed is to the point. It comes across like artillery strikes deep within no-mans land. Hands down… Surrendering… Ka-boom! Jane Speed has taken the ethics of the riot grrl "thing" and has created something with their sound that’s survivable. You take Bratmobile, Bikini Kill, gene Defcon and the aforementioned Le Tigre and combine the eerieness of Siouxie and The Banshees, the rawness of The Screamers, and the dance-ability (yes, I Said DANCE-ABILITY back there! Mark it on your calendars! Call MS NBC! Call Dan Rather and tell him he's a FUCK!)… You take all of that and boom, or should I say ka-boom, you got yer Jane Speed. Definitely neoteric… Definitely definite… Morte was right.

From start to finish, Jane Speed got my undivided attention. I heckled them alongside Andy Assault Rifle about how they should play "Magazine Love" by the Screamers and at times Andy and I were singing "Vertigo", "Mensch", and other random Screamers tunes in-between Jane Speed songs. Jane Speed's front replied back several times about how stupid we were and how much we sucked and ya know what? She was right! Andy and I were stupid! We did suck!!! We were only listeners. We were only there. Compared to Jane Speed, everyone else was miniscule. Nothing… Jane Speed was about the moment. About the second… About the keyboards, bass, drums and vocals… They did what they did and did it from a place where they had no idea who the Screamers were. They heard "something" about (the mighty) The Fuses, and also heard something about (the mighty) The Uniform, and were absolutely dumbfounded about (the mighty) Morphius Records (who released that awesome and memorable Fuses/Uniform split LP) that exist right next door to their hometown! Hell, it’s quite possibly Morphius' fault too. The fine folks at Morphius SHOULD have been hip to the Jane Speed by now and should already be releasing their records.

The truth hurts. Jane Speed SHOULD HAVE been touring to support a fucking LP, not a fucking six song CDR. Don’t get me wrong, don’t get the wrong impression by what I say. I heard Jane Speed this night for the first time, and if I had the ability I would sign the fuckers up for AT LEAST an LP. Bands like Jane Speed come out of nowhere and knock me for a loop. They leave a trail of blood in their wake. They deserve attention. They deserve attention. They deserve your fucking moment asshole!

Pic from Blank Generation nterview courtesy of Joe Domino

This is a six song CDR. Self released beautification. The songs on the CD don’t hit as hard as the band does live.... That’s a problem with most bands anyway. I bet two weeks after recording these songs Jane Speed were rocking five times as hard. How do I know this? Because I saw it first hand! If you absolutely hate what Le Tigre is doing with their sound then you will not be ready for this recording of Jane Speed. If you are getting into Le Tigre then this is right up your ass like my screaming fist.

"Are Those Prescription" is nervous pop. It’s neoteric…mild in comparison to their live bite. What’s important is what Jane Speed will be. I told them that in me, they have a forever-fan. They’re a screaming fist rig
ht in my teeth! I don’t think they believed me, but what’s a piece of shit like me to do? I don’t have a wide vocabulary and I choose to latch myself to bands that defy description.

I’m asking you to trust me here. Walk with me through the minefield of modern music and we will emerge on the other side unscathed. Ready for a New World? Listen to the nu-classics as they set you ablaze.

Join me in welcoming Jane Speed to the ranks of The Neoteric Punk/Wave.

Red
Red
Orchid.

PS: By night’s end, members of Jane Speed promised that they would look around for The Screamers at their local record store. The End? (SAB)
(www.janespeed.com)
(Jen Kaminsky 39 Chester St. Apt. 1 Allston, MA. 02134)

Read the Interview Joe Did HERE

Monster Attacks "Raw Material Production" LP

Weather Update from Cincinnati: The searing June heat has given way to strong thunderstorms, which moved through earlier this evening. The temperature has dropped making the non-air conditioned environment of my, "compound", bearable.

Elvis had his Graceland. I have my Manor.

You have to be ready for anything nowadays. There’s a lot of shit out there that’s just hidden, just below the surface, and teeming with danger. You never know. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN…

Like I seen this guy walking, who I thought was a member of The Jane Speed since he got out of a van that had a U-haul trailer attached to the bumper. I call him over and introduce myself to him and chat a bit about our bands and scenes. I ask him if he goes to that Boston Public School, and if he ever runs into Alley McBeal, and even though he didn’t make the connection at first I took liberties in telling him that yes, WKRP in Cincinnati is STILL on the air in Cincinnati after all this time.

Despite the fact that WKRP in Cincinnati is a FICTIONAL show, meaning its created or "made up" or whatever the kids are calling it these days, on Television Studios (i.e. "I Love Lucy"), people around the United States FAIL to think twice when they inquire with me about the validity of the show. I have had many people actually believe me when I am like "Yeah, it really exists, and it is on the air, but Johnny Fever isn’t doing to well these days."

What you, the UN-Cincinnati Native, may not know is that WKRP in Cincinnati actually is loosely based on a REAL radio station called WEBN, which evidently use to be considered a experimental station with the choice of their hard rock format back in the seventies. This station was Cincinnati’s OFFICIAL rock and/or roll station that was so popular that if you were to travel in the abandoned Cincinnati subways, all the way to the infamous "Bomb Shelter" terminal, you would find 'WEBN' graffiti sprawled on the wall next to 'Class of '83 ROCKS'. Nowadays WEBN is a Jacor Station, which is one of the largest Media conglomerates in the country, but still retains their rowdiness stature and popularity because they fail to bleep out profanity in Limp Bizkit songs. Yeah I know.... BORING PUSSIES!

Fucking pussies! Remember that guy Mojo "Elvis is Everywhere. Elvis is Everything" Nixon? Well, he is a morning talk show host here in Cincinnati. Jacor owns his pathetic ass like they own office furniture. They keep trying to coach him into being a funny, kind of Howard Stern, but he is just a gool ol' run of the mill flannel T-shirt wearing hesher. They put Mojo Nixon on in the mornings! Now even I know that he isn’t a morning person. Run into Mojo around six PM and I bet he is a hoot. At six AM the fucker is still wishing for the pillows. Good ol' Jacor. Pussies…

Anyway, let’s get on with it. Enough of this Ben-Hur/Gladiator mega-lo-mart battling. I’m tired of the constant squabble with big business. They are pussies. Let’s let the dying dog die. When the worker’s revolution hits, I am going to be all Pat Sajack on it and shit. Ice in my eyes. Ice on my wrist. Bling (bling)!

So I rapped a bit with Robert, one half of this two-man duo. I sit around for a bit and knock back some beer in The Jerry’s Millenium Falcon (I call my Car 'Gobo’ and he calls his van The Millenium Falcon). I’m all charged up because as soon as I spy a longtime Kent ally, Rob (the same Rob with the Carnival hand I talked about in the Jane Speed review), and he’s talking some crazy shit about buying me some Steel Reserve because he knows what I drink and he wants to support the arts!

I mean FUCK, it’s like I’m fucking Charles Bukowski and shit. I travel from my humble town and there are people ready, willing, and able…to support the arts! FUCK!!!!

Robert and I just talk about crazy shit. Like there was a DANGEROUS meningitis outbreak in Alliance, Ohio, which is only about 20 miles away from Kent. When I first got off the expressway in Kent on the road heading through downtown Kent to the mantis Gallery, I went into a Duke Gas Station to buy some 12 Packs. There was a long line and three 12 packs were pretty heavy, but when I got up to the counter I asked "Hey, did you all get that whole meningitis thing figured out up here?"

The situation in Alliance apparently got so severe that they had to ship in vaccine from all over the country and administer it to thousands of people. I was reading the newspaper headlines on one of the local papers and it was talking about a teenage girl who was found covered in bleeding sores all over her body by her mother who in turn called the ambulance. As they were carting the girl away she told her mom she loved her and that was the last thing the Mom ever heard her daughter say because she fucking died. So when I get asked to play the Mantis Gallery no epidemic, nor rain, sleet, or snow will keep me away. Ironically enough, I instantly remember the last time we (The Socials) were asked to play the Mantis; snowed all the way from The Cincinnati suburbs to The Mantis Gallerys front door! Snow, sleet and white-knuckle driving the WHOLE 5 hours. Since Alliance was in the neighborhood and all, and even Cincinnati local news was talking about the meningitis outbreak and it’s impact on the city, I figured asking about the whole deal wasn’t a big situation. "Hey, did you all get that whole meningitis thing figured out up here?"

"That was in Alliance", the cashier responds. Then bitchingly replies, "This is Kent." Here’s the thing. I live in Fairfield, Ohio. Fairfield is a Northern Suburb of Cincinnati, Ohio. Fairfield isn’t even in the same county as Cincinnati, but for all intents and purposes, despite the fact it’s a twenty-minute drive to Downtown Cincinnati, I consider my hometown Cincinnati. Now with the close proximity of Alliance to Kent, and I’m talking 20 ROAD miles, not "air" miles (because I live about 24 "road" miles from the outskirts of Cincinnati’s official city limits), I figure Kent and Alliance were one and the same. But I guess not all parts of Ohio share such brotherhood as we do here in Southwest Ohio. I mean FUCK! I was concerned for the citizens of the Ohio Empire AS A WHOLE, not just some Alliance fuckers. I love my state, and have a lot of state pride. I saw this one lady pour out a cup of coffee into the bushes at a Rest Area on this very same trip and I was yelling at her from The Millenium Falcon telling her to not do such a heinous act because Ohio is MY state and she shouldn’t fucking litter like that and disrespect MY state. This, coming from a guy who used to drive around throwing empty 40 ounce bottles at pedestrians! But hey, I’m not heartless because just when I started getting good at it and was landing empty Weidemann forty’s at the next consecutive step of speed walkers, I stopped. I decided I didn’t want to kill anyone because throwing a glass forty ounce bottle from a car going 40 MPH would surely do more damage than throwing a Strawberry Pie at them (I got good at that too).

Think about it… The description that I regurgitated to you from that Kent newspaper... Does that really sound like a meningitis case? I’m no sorts of fucking disease specialist or anything. I’m a Rock Journalist. It sounds as if this girl had something other than meningitis. It sounds to me like some sort of Ebola thing going on. Now I saw "Outbreak"; so I do know something about Ebola. It sounds to me like this girl had that- blood, sores, death… Yep, Ebola!

So what really went on? Sounds like a cover up if you ask me. Was this so-called 'meningitis outbreak' REALLY an outbreak of meningitis? Was it something worse and more widespread then they originally thought, then they originally REPORTED? How many really died and what REALLY caused the outbreak? Lotsa hard hitting questions for a review of a record, eh? What can I say? I’m Shawn Abnoxious doing it for the kids because the kids are being lied to. The kids are being told something that is not completely true. The Truth is out there, and whereas I might not have all the answers, I do have a very creative imagination, I’m not afraid to ask the uneasy questions, and last but not least, I hold a position with Blank Generation. That’s it! I can use Blank Generation as a vehicle for my wide range of Conspiracy Theories! Next up: The REAL reason why my satellite TV cuts out at about midnight to 2 AM.... You will be surprised!

So Monster Attacks takes the stage. Fucking art damage. Fuck yeah! First off, you hear a drum machine, rhythm machine, or synth, or whatever the kids are calling those things nowadays, plugged into a small amp and making the same series of sounds through each of Monster Attacks songs; eeeeeeee-ewewewewew-eeeeeeee-ewewewewew-eeeeeeee ewewewewew-eeeeeeee-ewewewewew-eeeeeeee-ewewewewew.... Monster Attacks is a two-man act. The aforementioned Robert plays bass and sings frequently and the other piece is a pretty phenomenal drummer. Their live show borders on performance art because at one point they both quit playing, climb as high as the current venue allows with the various amplifiers surrounding them and shit, strike a pose and hold it for several seconds then, just when I think they are going to dive into the drum set or something, they just reverse their climb and pick up playing where they left off. Fucking art!!!!!

Andy Assault Rifle was there again. Heckling… Giving Monster Attacks shit for no apparent reason. Saying stupid shit like shouting, "You play the bass" to the bassist over and over and over... In essence becoming part of the show. Monster Attacks feed from people like this, and at one point, at a particular songs end, Robert turns from facing the drummer (he plays the majority of the set with his back to the crowd) and sez, "Thank you" to those watching on. The drummer reiterates, "He means that a lot" and repeats it several times while both him and Robert take a moment before continuing. "He means that a lot.... He means that a lot... He means that a lot." Andy repeats him word for word, action for action. The drummer thanks Andy at his set’s end for participating. Fuking art! 100%!

So I got this LP and thought the songs would be totally different because it honestly looked like Monster Attacks were improving their whole set. Well, much to my amazement, Monster Attacks actually have an established structure to their set. This LP is just as strong and just as powerful. Musically Monster Attacks bring a lot of strange comparisons to mind. The Minutemen. Gang of Four. Wire. Man or Astroman. Monster Attacks are Lewis & Clark about their music. Every chord, every beat, is a treat to the ears, truly Neoteric.

Monster Attacks has to be one of the most awesome spectacles I have ever witnessed. Their set was inspiring. Monster Attacks proves that nowadays, there are people out there pushing definitions and restrictions to their breaking points. Pressure tested… If it doesn’t crack, try harder!

Monster Attacks are Underwriter Laboratory tested and rated for maximum results.

Note: DIY hand screened covers… I got Blue/White and mine still smells of lethal fumes. Good times! My LP also came with several small comic books. (SAB)
(xterrorcouplex@yahoo.com)

07/19/13 (Scene Notes)

A. "Pre-Show"

A.0.1 Juice by Jerry talks about plastic surviving into a new distant future where whatever lives, maybe a race of insectoids will assemble all the plastic pieces into beast, like dinosaur bones.

A1 It had been a while since I had a burrito at The Comet and since my associate, Author and 'Dude-thusiast' John Burris had a thirst and I room for a few extra carb-points to get me thru the evening, I suggested burritos and brew. Good talk and ample reggae songs aside (love reggae on the SS when at the comet-feels right) I think back and honestly can’t remember the last time I actually had a burrito. I had to quietly settle on an arbitrary timeframe. 2+ years. Wow... Needless to say, it was delicious and gives Habaneros a run for its money for first... Chipotle is a solid third.

A1.1 TAGS seen walking from parked car to Northside Tavern (NST: 'TA' (traditional arrow from middle bar of the 'A' pointing to the right). 'Zen'. 'FLAW'. 'Reieh'

A2 John Burris let me have a swig of his DRAGONBREATH bourbon barrel beer (I think that’s what it was called) and it was mighty tasty. Like a Guinness mixed with Rye. Also good stuff.

A2 seeing Jon Lorenz sitting adjacent to a huge area rug awaiting a band to set up with his thickening beard and dark sunglasses was good stuff. I gave, and received a beard nod... And regretted trimming my own face rug.

B. "Arrival"

B1 Hot. I’ve lived in Georgia and Louisiana as a teen. Those places are hot but really, Cincinnati style hot is a special sort of hot... The kind where you go outside the Northside Tavern and its little smoker’s enclave that’s only open to one side facing Hamilton Ave that’s NOT a wall or structure holds the heat like a pizza oven. 20 seconds of that had me quickly returning inside. You know what they say about heat and kitchens... Fuck that shit. Being exposed to that stifling heat made NST's AC feel even better.

B2 Let the record show that when I woke up on the morning previous, I did not have a 'zine' but less than 24 hours later, I did* and this day served as an official release. Jonathan Stout as part of DINOSAURS AND THUNDER (D+T) asked me to read a poem before they play their last show with this version of D+T. I chose "A Wolf Crying Wolf" that actually mentions and references Rob Santel and a show The Socials and D+T played at 1207 before its "up cline" (decision to NOT have bands play). So, BAD DAY AT THE PLASTIC MINES was born... The WOLF poem was its content. 

B2.1 Also let the record show that a mere 15 steps inside NST had me find Jason Snell and compatriots from OLD CITY and such... Jason buys the first copy of BAD DAY as does everyone else at the table (!). I have Jason sign the dollar stuffing it inside a copy of the zine (I think) that I would later sell forgetting about that dollar so someone got a dollar back... Not their dollar, but one signed by Jason Snell. Jason being BAD DAYS first 'hard sell' will stick with me for the rest of my life. Jason is someone I admire greatly on several levels with the most important one being a great guy. He is MY Bruce Springsteen.

B2.2 I would later as Jason to belt out a measure of "Love is A Battlefield" which he did a capella. It was beautiful in more ways than one.

B2.3 Sammy Mckee and I share laughs with the entire table of guest as we recount whoever it was I thought was Sammy outside The Blue Jay who extolled the strength of a Goetta omelet placing the idea in my head that directly influenced me to purchase my own Goetta omelet less than an hour later. However, it wasn’t Sammy... I still don’t know who it was, but they knew me and even though I’m terrible with names, I’m great remembering faces and shared salutations anyhow.


B2.3 I 'check-in' with Jonathan Stout and Rob Santel. Jon is texting his dad "Dear Dad, I play guitar."

B2.4 "Can I throw a beer can at you while your playing Sam?" I asked placing the speculative thought of this possibility in his head.

"If its empty.. Yeah" he responded. 
"Well that’s no fun!" 

B2.5 I asked Rob Santel if his mom and dad were still coming. They weren’t... "Damn!" I said slamming my fist on the table nearly spilling top-heavy bottles of beer and half drunken pints. "I was going to ask them if they wanted to get high in a dirty Northside ally. Rob replied somewhat pleading and mercifully said "Please don’t get me in trouble" Jonathan Stout erupts into laughter.

B2.5.1 please let the record show that Rob and Jon were NOT wearing toboggans and I hardly noticed them.

C."Mardou"

Dylan from mardou by Jon Stout

C1 After my 'check in' with Jon and Rob and get the details of when I will read the poem... John Burris settles in with a pint and sez something about maybe getting a shot of Jaeger, which he later gets. Mardou are arriving as I find a spot in the backroom of NST where an AC vent is blowing me... I mean blowing ON me. I question my commitment to wearing black denim pants. Despite the possibilities of getting a knife and MAKING the pants short, the pants survive the night.

C2 Drum Eric is late. Bass Eric (cargo shorts hemmed), Guitar Un-Eric Aaron (denim cut off shorts) and the denim rebel himself, Dylan Mardou sporting cut-off shorts and jean jacket hiding a beautiful WIPERS shirt.

C3 Drum Eric, to saves time uses 'Dros (D+T) set of drums. Dro laboriously assembles the drums with wincing pain from an ailment that I feel uncomfortable in referencing on more than one level... JB (D+T- bass) is dispatched to help just as Drum Eric arrives and sound checks. Whew. Please let the record show that Dro is one tuff fucker-mother. Maybe the toughest. Clone him and create an army of ‘DRO-NES. Now (or soon)

C3.1 Dylan McCartney has smooth maybe hairless legs. Just sayin’

C4 Mardou play excellent. Inter-band communications are felt, not spoken and the set is tightened without tension. Good set. Bass Eric even sings a tune... One of their stronger songs too. I instantly had to remark to Granado A&R/Recording engineer Todd Uttley of the songs punch. He agreed so it wasn’t just me. However, two Mardou's were wearing denim cut offs (Dylan and Guitar Aaron) while both Bass Eric and Drum Eric wore khaki type cargo shorts... So the bands inner workings, at least dome, need to be worked on

C4.1 I find a vacant seat that some hipster wearing creeper shoes, a corduroy jacket and small John Lennon sunglasses left behind. He apparently thought his name was on the seat because he returned drinking a metropolitan mix drink, tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me, I’m sitting there"... It was hard to hear him because of Mardou but I guess he got the message when I told him "Go fuck yourself" Moments later Brian McCabe throws a trash can at me in PARTIAL retaliation to what I did during a vomitious blackout drunk a few months earlier where I had apparently sabotaged much of Homemade Drugs’ set at MOTOR. Thinking this trashcan was sent from trendy guy in retaliation for me stealing his seat I swiftly retaliate with a powerful swing of Chinanski (my cane) but it was a friend, not foe, which I was up against. Brian laughed and promised that he still owed me from that MOTR incident and agreed that he was totally right. Like I said before. Sometimes you’re the guy watching the show; sometimes you’re that guy being the show.

C5 Mardou were good. Damn good. More backing vocals from Bass and Drum Eric's wouldn’t hurt. After one song Drum Eric used the backstage curtain to wipe his face off from sweat. Also, Dylan wore not only denim cut offs but a denim jean jacket on a night that was part of the hottest week Cincinnati experienced. Go fucking figure.

C6 I made a HUGE mistake in naming the zine Bad Day at The Plastic Mines... It should have been called Dirty Streets named after the Mardou dong of the same name. "Bounty Hunter" was the last song but really, the played version of “Dirty Streets” was amazing. Sung with conviction, and violent overtones painting a picture in my mind of a city in sonic rebellion. I have no idea what its about but I can honestly day, its a song for NOW.

C7 I hear Old City warming up and beginning their set as I settle into deep art discussions with Drum Eric (Lindsay) and Homemade Drugs' Chris Potoka who were both blowing my mind with good talk of Contemporary Alchemy, art plans, methods and ideas. Chris Potoka referenced SONARTA too... These men are dangerous and I agreed that some sort of project involving the three of us is imminently imperative... Art-Threat.

C7.1 Fucking pool tables. "Pardon me dude, I need to make this shot" Sheesh! Fuck your shot. Fuck your pool. Fuck your girlfriends bending down to line up a shot and showing semi-boobs. Well, that was cool but otherwise pool tables are a scourge to space replaced with anything else. Fuck, get a hookah going with some synthetic pot in it... That would be useful.

D "Old City"

D1 I pardon myself from the artistically dangerous Eric L. and Chris P. Old City were calling and sounding quite good. 

D2 Robyn Nomadical, artist and musician (Ex-Knife The Symphony) replaced Gabe "Lion Cub" Molnar as Old City bassist. It was her second show with the band, which appears to be a good fit. They sounded great making pretty much anything (but not everything) released before their Hot Horse EP, obsolete. Old City are veterans of the Cincinnati scene. I hope this line-up sticks around for a while.

D3 Glancing momentarily before erupting into "Simple Solution" Sam eyeballs the crowd for me... Was he anticipating a beer can? Just after announcing this as Old Citys last song which was the bar burner 'Simple Solution". Knowing how I feel about this song, and not having a beer can thrown at him yet; I let him think it was coming... I let him live in/with that anticipation. Is it now... now? ... Now? The attack that never came. I had no beer full or empty to throw. Besides, if I were going to throw one it would have been after "Romantic Comedy". But at least I tried This was the strongest, most awe capturing song they played in my opinion and really captures the passive aggressiveness nature that faces all artist or creatives in general. But at least I tried... Don’t forget, THREATS show how much you really care, deep down, about anything. Threats=love. Trying and failing is ok... Actually, you may learn from a mistake more than any success. But at least I tried... Have you did or done everything in your power to try? You can’t try and succeed every time. There is honor and glory in the phrase But at least I tried.

D3.1 I, not you, faithful, desperate reader of THWART what exactly the lamp that Old City lug around but yes, it does seem OCD and somehow magical at the same time. I thought Shit; this lamp has always sat there on the stage because I don’t recall ever seeing it... At sets end, it was unplugged and taken... There was some terrorist chatter later on an fb post talking about the lamp but really. I don’t wanna know about the lamp. I’m gonna let it be a strange mystery to me.

D3.2 The straw in a drink of any sorts symbolizes struggle. Please note.

E "Dinosaurs and Thunder"

from D+T's fb page.

E.1 "So, this is what it feels like to be on-stage at the Northside Tavern" I said positioning myself in a spot that was sort of out of the way... There was a sound check happening and after that sound check JB was gonna inform the crowd that I was gonna read a poem... Invited much earlier, its still sort of odd to hear poems at shows and such... it wasn’t something that I’ve done much of but in the short time I been doing THWART I have grown close to many new faces and the bands they occupy. Ultimately, the reading went well. Halfway through there was a point that I encounter when reading live poetry... When it starts sinking in. I call it the sinking, People shut up and start to listen. I acknowledge this point live with momentarily direct eye contact with crowd members but thanks (I guess) to the stage lighting all I seen was a silhouette. None-the-less I heard someone shush someone (DAMN! SNAP!!! Let the fucking poet READ motherfuckers!) and JB was bringing in a ride note on the bass... Building up with me... Other member of D+T began doing minimal approaches in accompaniment with JB... Honestly, I thought about doing poems like this and even have AB1 backing me up on a D but this time it was different... The musical accompaniment was pristine! The poem, "A Wolf Crying Wolf" went over great and plans were made to maybe, just maybe, do something like this as a project in the future.

E2 The plan is for D+T to play a half hour set, take a break, and then play another half hour. They erupt fiercely. It’s not everyday that you see a band on its death ground. Sun Tzu would be proud... Yeah, JB and Jonathan Stout committed to keeping the band going and working with new members, but every song had certain fervor about it. I’m sad to see this version of D+T go, but Rob and Dro will continue on in their journeys and it will be interesting to see how the family tree of D+T will develop.

E2.1 "The meteor is just about to hit" sex Rob Santel... But the thing is every living thing you see is 10% of what survived after the meteor that killed all the dinosaurs... So there will be survivors.

E3 Heckles from the crowd. Nice. Jonathan Stout’s amp nearly falls due to him not having very long chords... The harder you fight, the harder 'it' fights back. The quickening of 'its' assault is a sign of desperation. Jonathan Stout is warrior. No not a warrior... Just WARRIOR.


E4.1 I place myself at stage right getting a cut of Jonathan Stouts guitar more than anything else. Jonathan is into the set. Active. Moving. Inspired. He sings loud showing his teeth of which had been partially filed to appear more dinosaur like. The wonders of contemporary digital technology. What a marvel!

E4 Let the record show that the last time I seen D+T at 1207 back before that place turned to hell, It was two days after seeing D+T when the hearing in my right ear went away. Since then, I have regained some of the hearing, not all... But some. Enough to tease D+T about challenging them to take on my left ear. So far, so good.

E5 Jonathan Stout wearing a shirt with kittens. 'Nuff said. WARRIOR (ref. 'E3')

E6 Good crowd. Friendly faces after all after I get away from the stage lighting. After their break I felt a good bowel movement working up... That Comet Burrito was working its magic. After seeing D+T retake the stage with Jon on drums, Rob still singing and JB being where he was... Dro grabbed a guitar... Apparently, Dro is some sort of fucking musical genius that swears he cant play anything but plays better whatever than I or any other complete fuck-up ever could. Dro is talent the epitome of talent... And he may be the toughest motherfuckers I have ever met (currently third being Juice by Jerry and Kimbo Slice who I ran into at a UDF on Hamilton Avenue at the intersection of Kemper and Hamilton Ave.) After a few instrumental ditties everyone gets to where they are supposed to be (fucking hippie law breakers) and play a song that hit me like being pummeled by a brick... The song was angular, and a bit different than other D+T songs. Honestly, one of the best D+T songs I think... I ask what its called and they say "HoBo" so look for that one in the future on some posthumous release... It’s a great song.

F After a brief goodbye and re-thanks to Jason Snell John and I are out of there heading back north or he elative safety of Fairfield Proper where our malls are empty and Sunday is trash day. God invented Sundays for hangovers of which there are not only pills AND action figures but now commemorative drinking glasses.

G. “Meanwhile, one week later…”

G1 Dinosaurs and Thunder, as it was decided a week later by Jonathan Stout WILL in-fact ‘break-up’ saying that when opportunities arrive and members return home from time to time, special events will be set up… But Jonathan Stout went on to say that he is now forming an all-new band.

*thanks to Jude Rude and Half-Gifts Zine