Sunday, May 15, 2016

Baseball. Guerrilla Warfare Mid-West. Dreaming.

Adapted from FB Message Thread

JR: Josh Rutledge, Faster and Louder
RA: Randy America, Entrepreneur/Golf Enthusiast
SA: Shawn Abnoxious, Thwart (...!)

Saturday 10:01 pm
JR: So a guy in the stands wearing Phillies gear improperly touches Odubel's home run ball. Was that really a Phillies fan....or a spy for Cincinnati? I suspect nefarious doings...

Sunday 9:04 am
SA: The 'wild pitch' game that The Reds had with Pitts should be a good indicator of the 'new' Reds are going to approach the rest of their season... Hopped up on ample amounts of chili and goetta. Full upsetter mode is in full effect. Nefarious indeed... Guerrilla Baseball at its finest. Brian Pryce leads the 'New Shining Path'

JR: Put the guy under the interrogation lamp and make him admit he eats his chili with pasta...then the truth comes out. I could go for some goetta right now. Goetta is scrapple for victors.

RA: Now I'm hungry.

SA: Is pasta just the easier spelled, shorter version of da' spaghetti? We need to stay hungry, unsatisfied and always wanting more from everything... World news, entertainment news, drone battery-life, sports bloopers... Or do we just need to remain HUNG.

Every American male secretly wishes their dick was way-more huge than it is. Even if its a big one to begin with... This is Da' America: giving them a reason to scratch nut-sacks on the baseball field since 1776. Or else.

JR: Shawn just managed to do what thousands of media pundits have failed to do: fully articulate the root of Donald Trump's poll numbers.

RA: All I know is, so far, every year Paris Hilton get's a little bit hotter than the last year. Go Phillies!

JR: She is aging well- oddly enough in direct proportion to her decreasing fame. She's probably putting her chili over spaghetti.

RA: Probably. I need to try that.

JR: And because we're on the East Coast, throw on some bacon as well. I have two more years before I have to start asking for "pop" at restaurants. I'm practicing daily.

RA: Don't say soda, they will laugh at you. Or actually bring you soda water. Just say "coke" and your good to go.

JR: I'm just going to ask for Vernors and leave if they don't have it.

RA: Greatest pop ever. It heals you and shit. If you ever get sick, warm it up in the microwave and it will cure you.

SA: Need I mention the medicinal properties of 7-Up and Sprite! Perhaps a force-read of THE LAST AMERICAN... A German-made pistol pointed to the temple of a non-believer whilst eating the cheapest hot-dog that Speedway has to offer is in need.

Im not playing around anymore. Shits not gotten real, shit has remained real for quote sometime now. Randy America was light years ahead of his time when developing NORAD versions 1 & 2... I can only imagine what NORAD 3 looks like.

Honestly, Paris could have always used a few pounds

RA: Norad 3 is in the works. I might be moving soon, lol. 

JR: We now have Speedways in Pennsylvania. The Midwest is slowly infiltrating. I will be really pissed if they finally open some Steak n Shakes out here only after I move.

RA: Hopefully they will have "Rally's" where you are going. I miss them from Detroit. And I wish there was a white castle around here come to think of it. Im sure there is, but not close enough.

JR: There's a White Castle near Plymouth, so I'm excited about that. Not sure about Rally's. Need to go to Culver's as well.

RA: Are you moving to Plymouth , Me? I knew it was somewhere that way.

SA: The Mid-West is a test-market for all of America. The true 'melting-pot' of the nation... Chinese Food Fest in Cincinnati with unseasonably cold temperatures... In a City known separately for its Greek, German and Italian (eye-tallion) food heritage... Cincinnati will eat it... Shit it out in a defecting purge and challenge you "Whats next?"

RA: Livonia is nice, Plymouth is nice. I used to live right near there when I was in school. I lived in Farmington Hills (next to Livonia). 9 mile and Drake rd. My good friend still ives in Livonia, have to hook you guys up. Good guy. We used to hop trains in Plymouth. Cinci has the best pan handlers I ever saw. True professionals. Made me want to be a pan handler.

SA: Pan-Handling is good for the economy. Olive spotted an encampment of bums next to the highway the other day ago and continues to monitor its existence when we pass the location. When I was a youth hopping a train from a local switchyard was part of my planned egress just in case my mm and dad stopped keeping me well-fed, clothed, supplied with GI JOE toys, frequent steak-house visits every Friday evening and other great general treatment. Or else.

Sunday 1:00 pm