Thursday, February 7, 2013

'Jets' Pizza (Food Views)

with the wind in your hair of a thousand laces.
Climb on the back and we'll Go for a ride in the sky.

Jets Pizza
Fairfield, Ohio

Greater Cincinnati... By saying 'Greater' part of GREATER Cincinnati' is a special way to encompass the surrounding area along with the City of Cincinnati itself. That’s Cincinnati PLUS its surrounding suburbs #duh! This city (and region) is rather known for a distinct diet. There are the wonders of Chili, the amazement of Goetta and the glory of both UDF (United Dairy Farmers) and Graeters (ice creameries). Pizzerias are a big thing too. Honestly bigger than maybe all the others combined. I live in a Cincinnati called Fairfield that has a population of 42k+ (I looked it up using the internet.) In this community alone there is over 10 pizza joints to choose from when you get that urge.

Does Fairfield or Cincinnati actually need ANOTHER pizza place? Isn’t the particular market if pizzeria over-saturated? Also, dies the Internet need another poor piece of bohemian fuck like myself writing about it.

Its dog eats pizza business in this area. You got the kings of local pizza: LaRosa's, Papa Johns, Little Caesars, Uno's, Dominoes and Donatos. These are the ones that I personally consider when I get the urge to pizza-it and also is the ranking that I give them based on price, availability and taste. There are at least that many more smaller chains or Mom and Pop eateries (including more big names like Pizza Hut) that I’m not even hitting on because I haven’t frequented them or ever or at all.

So when I seen a new place move into a strip mall in an adjacent spot next to a previous mom and pop pizza buffet called Chicago’s Pizza that was born, lived and died before the introduction of the marvel that is Ci Ci Pizza into the area I had my doubts about the business strategy.

Strong doubts. 

However I was quite impressed when I got an advert in the mail bringing Jets Pizza to my attention. It offered a free deep-dish pizza. Instantly I looked for the small print but there was none. I said a FREE fucking pizza… I still couldn’t believe it a week later when I called to order one, waiting for the catch or clarification that would bust my bubble.

Upon developing plans Julie started singing a version of Paul McCartney & Wings song by the same name making up words that she didn’t know. The song seemed to fit. Instantly I remembered an article around '06 talking about the trace amounts of jet fuel found in women’s breast milk and from that point forward anything and everything 'Jet' translated to breast. 


As learned from the advert also, Jets wasn’t a one-off Mom & Pop place as I originally suspected. It was representative of a new chain from a company expanding into the area. Jets was cutting into someone’s business for a piece of the pie, a splotch of the action... Would Jets enter my list of suspects or find its spot with the other guys?

But it’s un American to just pass up a free pizza right? We can’t let the terrorist win.

With Olive joining Julie with an impromptu rendition of McCartney & Wings' "Jets" slaughtering the lyrics that Julie was pretty much guessing phonetically anyway. Olive repeatedly reminded me to get one with 'pep-rony' and one with 'saw-sages.' The advert done its trick... It got my Charcot foot in the door. Who buys just one pizza anymore? This is America the last time I checked... The fucking eagle on the quarter collaborated my story...

This, in fact, IS America™ give me two or gives me death. Don’t force me to shock and awe me a motherfucker.

Aside from the Pizza Jets offers all the flare... Subs, dippins bread, salads wings... You know the deal. That entire BS that is just secondary to the classic pizza. If the pizza isn’t any good than how can all the other stuff be any good? It can’t. Pizza is the basics. If this pizza sucked then what would make me believe a fucking sandwich or whatever would be good?

So I got two of their pan, rectangular shaped pizzas. One was with sausage and one pepperoni. Ordering was smooth. The 'extra' pizza only cost $9.99 more. So it was two pizzas for $10. Automatically Jets shot up to equal status with Little Caesars despite the $9.99 price coupled with the free pizza coupon being a deal.

I chose to pick up my order. I would check out their shop that I only spied from picking up medications at my pharmacy.

It was pretty, pretty nice. Clean. Busy. A few tables and a big screen TV hanging on the wall for the big game I suppose. Which big game you ask? The BIG one… The staff was nice, quick and friendly once more.

They did a last check for each pizza to ensure it was correct and I approved. This last check is definitely something that should be done elsewhere. Specifically at Little Caesars… I was burned there despite their high turn around of food getting a pizza that wasn’t hot and maybe ready for a microwave. I felt a bit awkward and bougie as to what to say for approval... Quickly I settled with "Its good... Looks delicious" which wasn’t a lie.

Getting the pizzas home and on plates (briefly) would be the real test...The pizzas were cooked perfectly. The crust had a good amount of burnt crispiness to it. The cheese was flavorful and the topping that laid on top of the cheese for cooking was excellent. Especially the pepperoni!

Dave Fitswell was correct in his feelings that ingredients on top of cooked pizzas when it came to a meats like sausage and pepperoni was far superior than placing them below the cheese.

This pizza was good stuff. Good ingredients after three-square pieces I was satisfied but kept going on to twice the amount to even out the numbers of the two kinds eaten. I shot the hell out of my carb choice count if just for this day. That’s why God (and the French) made insulin... for overeating pizza.

Perhaps a truer test would arrive at 2 am the following morning arriving home from a Socials show. Its a given that Juice by Jerry would say he was hungry…. A question you already know the answer to. I never seen him turn away food. It was late and as I got the pizza from the fridge I was grabbing fir a second piece soon after handing him two more for the road. Juice explained how great the pizza tasted even cold from the fridge… Which is maybe one of the best tests for any pizza.

So the big question remains. Where does Jets Pizza fall in my rankings? Well maybe I’m just burned out but I’m thinking right away its at least tied with LaRosa’s for the #1 spot but only tine will tell if they remain strong in my rankings through the years as urges come and go. Really, it’s all up to them but when you’re a restaurant that’s named after something that makes me immediately think of beautiful breast, you just can’t go wrong.

I’d say it’s downright clever! 

Well-played JETS.